Ed Mylett: The Power of One More | E173
Ed Mylett: The Power of One More | E173
Do you want to be happier and wealthier? Don’t let your mindset or fear hold you back. Peak performance expert and best-selling author Ed Mylett wants to help you achieve your goals and become the best version of yourself. Through visualization, hyper-focus, setting goals with intention, and his “one more day” technique, Ed believes you, too, can make your dreams reality. In this episode, Hala and Ed chat about Ed’s new book, The Power of One More, Ed’s childhood and how it influenced his life, why Ed believes in the importance of “touching” your dreams, the role of the Reticular Activating System (RAS) and how we can program it to help us, the trilogy of identity, the role intention plays in setting goals, and everything he’s learned along the way.
– Ed’s difficult childhood and his transformation into self-confidence
– How he mastered communication skills
– Ed’s father’s struggle with sobriety and how Ed knows that people can change
– Experience working at a home for underprivileged boys (orphanage)
– The importance of focus and getting good at one thing
– The need to experience/touch your dreams
– The role of the Reticular Activating System (RAS)
– Repeated hyper visualizations of your dreams
– How to program RAS in the right way
– Defining identity and how it’s shaped in childhood
– The trilogy of identity
– The role intention plays in achieving goals
– How does Ed design his social circle?
– Difference between self-confidence and identity
– How the loss of his uncle impacted his health
– How he sets goals and standards
– What Ed means by blissful dissatisfaction
– Ed’s actionable advice
– Ed’s secret to profiting in life
– And other topics…
Ed Mylett is a business leader, peak performance expert, life and business strategist, author, and podcaster. Ed got his start in the financial services industry, where his success earned him a spot on the Forbes 50 Wealthiest Under 50 List. Ed is now involved in a range of ventures, including technology, real estate, health, food/nutrition, and more.
Ed is the author of Max Out Your Life and The Power of One More – The Ultimate Guide to Happiness and Success (June 2022). He is also the founder and host of his podcast and YouTube Channel, The Ed Mylett Show.
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The Power of One More: https://thepowerofonemore.com/
The Ed Mylett Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ed-mylett-show/id1181233130
Ed’s books: https://www.amazon.com/Ed-Mylett/e/B07G7H2JTB
Ed’s Website: https://www.edmylett.com/
Ed’s Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/edmylett/
Ed’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/EdMylett
Ed’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/edmylett
Ed’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EdMylettFanPage
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[00:00:00] Hala: Hey, ed, welcome to young and profiting podcast.
[00:00:02] Ed: Thank you for having me. I've been looking forward to this all day. I'm excited.
[00:00:05] Hala: Me too. I'm psych, you are one of my favorite pod-casters. We interview a lot of the same people. And so I usually listen to your show before the guest comes on my show. I study with your show.
[00:00:17] Hala: And so you're one of my go-tos. And for those who may not know you, you're renowned keynote speaker, a performance coach and entrepreneur, and a bestselling author. You're worth hundreds of millions of dollars. You've built nine figure businesses, and now you hold ownership stake in 23 different companies.
[00:00:34] Hala: So that's all really exciting stuff. You also just launched our You're about to launch your newest book, called the power of one more. It comes out in June. So we're going to dive into all of that. But before we get into it, I always like to take it back to your younger years and you were way different back then.
[00:00:51] Hala: I think it's going to be super inspiring for my listeners to hear how you've transformed. So based on my research, you grew up in California, you were the only boy in a family with three younger sisters. You were a scrawny kid nicknamed Eddie spaghetti, and you seem really confident and outgoing, but it turns out you weren't always like this.
[00:01:09] Hala: So talk to us about what you were like as a child and a team.
[00:01:12] Ed: Thank you for preparing so well. That's awesome. I respect that cause I do. Child insecure, shy, uh, anxiety, fear, depressed. That sounds good. Doesn't it? I'm the child of an alcoholic father. So I was raised in the power of one more. The book I have is there's a lot of lessons in that, in my life about that, but so when you're raised with a dysfunctional family, you just grew up with anxiety and you don't grow up feeling very good about yourself.
[00:01:39] Ed: So many mornings, I would leave my house just to shame. Why do I have to come from this family when everyone's got a normal family? And then I was small, like you said, I got bullied a lot in school. And so I got into personal development by the way, my dad, the good news is my dad got sober and completely changed his life, which we'll talk about.
[00:01:55] Ed: Funny thing, my dad got sober on 14. So my dad's birthday is four 20, which is hilarious. Only my dad would do that. But what happened for me was that I was good in sports. I was a good baseball player, so that was the one place I could flourish. But I had to learn about personal development and self-help, and the strategies of building confidence and visualizations and your reticular activating system in your brain and all these other things just to become a baseline functioning, human being.
[00:02:20] Ed: And then when I got there, I'm like, wow, I'm good at this. I have my own strategies, my own style, my own things I've learned that are sort of my recipe. And then I started to take them to another level. And then I think I became a pretty self-confident person. It doesn't mean that I still don't struggle with some insecurity or fears because I do, but I transformed myself with the stuff that I write about in this book, because I had to.
[00:02:41] Ed: And so when you say hundreds of millions of dollars and all that, like that still to this day is so bizarre to me that that's true. Like had you met me at any age? Like even high school? I wasn't like a loser in high school. I was just like, oh, there's Eddie, Eddie, my LA. You would have never picked me. I didn't have great grades, but I wasn't the dumbest kid.
[00:03:01] Ed: You know what I mean? Like I just was there. I was just a dude.
[00:03:04] Hala: Yeah. It's so interesting how people transform and you always talk about like those small actions that like really compound over time. And so for you is like hard work. It's not like you've this like extraordinary. I heard you on an interview say that you had a very average IQ.
[00:03:20] Hala: It's not like you're some very extraordinarily smart person. You just work hard.
[00:03:25] Ed: Yeah, well, I've worked smart too, so like, yeah. I'm not high IQ. In fact, the funny thing I recently for the second time, just for fun in my family, there's my wife and two kids. We took the IQ test again, I'm fourth out of four in our own house.
[00:03:37] Ed: So kind of go with that. I know my limitations, like I got to outwork people, but I also have to have stuff that, that I can kind of cut corners on in life that are illegal. You know what I mean? Like legal corner, cutting that speed things. So I've learned all these strategies about like my time and my standards and my reticular activating system in my brain and how to program it.
[00:03:56] Ed: And so I don't come to the table nor do I want it. If I were brilliant, I couldn't give people hope, right. If there was something super special about me than I believe, average ordinary people everyday build extra ordinary lives. And as you know, I coach some of the top people in the world, whether it's politics or entertainment or athletes.
[00:04:16] Ed: Some of them have extra ordinary abilities and some of them don't, and I've seen both types of people achieve in life. I'm just the one with not great abilities or talents that have achieved some pretty good stuff. Yeah.
[00:04:29] Hala: Well you do have some great talents. You're an amazing communicator. And speaking of that, how did you learn how to master those skills at such a young age?
[00:04:37] Ed: Well, I'm watching you do it, so I'd be curious how you did it. I young, I wasn't, in fact, my blank, my biggest fears was public speaking, but the Polian Hills doesn't think and grow rich on the other side of temporary pain, you meet your other self. So if you can go through, have a chapter in the book called one more inconvenience, and I literally teach you how to chase inconvenient things.
[00:04:55] Ed: And so one of the most inconvenient things I could ever do would be to get up and speak in public, actually, even to speak in private, like just three people in a room would be hard for me, but on the other side of that discomfort and that pain, I really learned a gift to that. And, you know, God did give me a really pretty good, deep voice.
[00:05:12] Ed: I could've known that all along, but I didn't. And then what I did is I studied speakers, but not like public speakers. That's why my style is sort of different. And why I just there's a survey just came out to make me the number one speaker in the world. I'm like, wow. And to think 25 years ago, I never.
[00:05:27] Ed: Because I didn't study speakers. I've studied comedians. I've studied my favorite stand-ups and my, most of my best friends are stand-ups. You know, I go to comedy clubs. Those are the best communicators on the planet to walk in a room full of strangers and make them laugh within 20 seconds, the way they use nuance, positioning their body language.
[00:05:43] Ed: Phrasiology the way that you silence the way they use tonality. And then I also watch a lot of preachers. I've watched a lot of pastors over my lifetime, like TV, pastors and stuff. Cause they're incredible or it's worse now. I'm not like any of them, but I'm a little bit like. And so that's how I actually did.
[00:05:58] Ed: It was modeling. I think one of the lost art forms in the world is modeling people like not copying, but modeling them and then making it your own nuanced style. So that's, that's the exact answer.
[00:06:10] Hala: Yeah, that's really interesting. You do sort of have that like comedian slash feature approach with your communication style.
[00:06:15] Hala: That's really interesting. So let's talk about transformation. So you recently lost your father. I did as well. I think we lost our dads around the same time. he actually lived sort of two lives, I think you were 15 years old, he got sober.
[00:06:27] Hala: Right. And he basically transformed into this whole other person. And I'm sure that had a lot to do with your personal transformation as well. And your ability to believe that people can change. Right. So can you talk
[00:06:39] Ed: to us about that? You nailed it. So my belief that human beings can change is not a belief.
[00:06:43] Ed: It's a knowing it's a knowing because I watched my hero do it first 15 years of my life, my dad got sober seven days before my 15th birthday. And I told you it was 14. And it was nine days after his worth it. The rest of my life, my dad never celebrated his actual birthday. Always still ready to sobriety birthday.
[00:06:59] Ed: Wow. I believe human beings can change it. No, they can't because I watched my hero do it first 15 years, my dad didn't live right. Did not live well at all. Last 35 extraordinary best life I've ever watched be lived. And so I know people can change and it made a huge impact on me though. My dad got sober, but there's the one more's like out of the book, those lessons started with.
[00:07:18] Ed: We're driving. Never seen my dad cry before we're driving to a baseball game of mine and he's crying when he's driving. I'm like, oh no, what's going on. And finally he pulls over and he goes, Hey, I'm going to go try to get sober one more time, because he had tried many times and he said, I'm going to give it one more try.
[00:07:34] Ed: There's a chapter in the book called one more try. I said, dad, what would be any different this time? And he said, ah, I'm going to lose every. I mean, your mom's taking you and the girls. So I'm going to lose my family. And you know what? You deserve a dad, you can be proud of your mom deserves a husband. She could respect.
[00:07:48] Ed: And then he got sober. I said, daddy, are you going to stay sober forever? You're never going to drink again. He goes, I don't know. I'm just not going to drink for one more day. And there's been so many times in our life. We have think, we think everything we have to decide is permanent. The truth is very few things are permanent.
[00:08:01] Ed: We both lost our fathers. Like are their bodies? Weren't permanent. It turns out right. There were temporary and most things are temporary. So in business, many times I was going to. 'cause this idea never quit. That's a hard thing to make, but a lot of times, you know what, okay. I just won't quit for one more day.
[00:08:17] Ed: See how I do tomorrow. And then the next day, I just won't quit for one more day. And those one more started to really stack up.
[00:08:23] Ed: If I could tell you something that's new, that is just a new breakthrough for me. It's a long answer. I apologize, but I wanted to share it with you because I already love you.
[00:08:30] Ed: Cause the way you prepare, so I'll share something extra. I wrote this whole book about all these lessons. It's a very heavy book. Like there's a lot of detailed stuff on your brain and confidence and identity and time management and leadership and equanimity. And it's heavy. It's not, this is not like another book.
[00:08:46] Ed: Like, you know, most books are just another book. It's the same book.
[00:08:49] Hala: I agree. I read a book, like I read two books a week because of this job. And I felt like it was
[00:08:54] Ed: new. Thank you. Yeah. Like I'm just, I love thinking grow rich, but about every book I read is like the same derivative of it. Like in someone other's words.
[00:09:02] Ed: And I'm like, I already read this book. I already read it. I stopped reading it. And so this isn't that, but my,
[00:09:07] Ed: I woke up about two weeks ago. It's been three weeks now and I woke my wife up and I said, babe, and I was pretty emotional. I said, babe, I want everyone to hear this. You can just remember this the rest of your life.
[00:09:16] Ed: It's not even in my book. I said, babe, someone helped my dad and it never occurred to me before. And she says, well, she's waking up. I said, somewhat dad. The most important decision of my entire life is my dad getting sober. It's why I'm talking to millions of people. Our kids, our grandkids, millions of people have reached some precious soul, helped my daddy in the darkest moment.
[00:09:36] Ed: Most shameful down moment of his life. Some human being rose up in their humanity to that moment and saved our family. And I don't know who they are and it never occurred to me before. And I said, babe, it goes a level deeper. What qualified this person to help my dad. The thing they were the most ashamed of and embarrassed by, they were also an alcoholic and a drug addict at one point.
[00:09:58] Ed: So the things they were the most ashamed of most embarrassed by that they think disqualified them the most from winning. Cause most people listen to your show. They're like, yeah, but I'm young and you don't know about me, but like I'd done this stuff. I'm embarrassed by it. I never did this. Well, I broke up with my boyfriend or girlfriend or my first business failed, not me.
[00:10:15] Ed: I'm describing. The very things you're most embarrassed about ashamed of, or think our average about you are the things that are qualifying you to change people's lives. This person mentioned when they were drinking, driving drunk, making the biggest mistakes, like little did they know they were preparing for that moment to change my dad's life and mine, and then millions of other people by extension the ripple effect when they were doing drugs and stealing money in Lyon, they were prepared.
[00:10:39] Ed: It's your humanity. It's your frailties. It's your weaknesses. It's the things you're most vulnerable when you share with other people and then show them how to do something better. That changes people's lives. When you link your weakness. Like I start out, I'm dumb. I'm not the dumbest guy in the world, but I'm not the smartest guy in the world.
[00:10:55] Ed: People go, I can't believe you say that about yourself. It's what helps me connect with you. If I had a 250 IQ, you'd be like, well, this dude's amazing. Of course he did. No. I got a seven 60 on my SATs. I'm a C plus. I was not, you know, I didn't run a 4, 4 40, like I'm just an average guy and you know what, that's what prepares me to help you.
[00:11:15] Ed: And so that person's drug and alcohol addiction is what prepared them to change millions of people's lives. So never disqualify yourself. Wow.
[00:11:22] Hala: That was powerful. I had chills while you were telling that story. I love that
[00:11:27] Hala: we are definitely going to cover a lot in your book, and I definitely want to spend about half the interview on that, but I do want to cover your journey and I have a lot of questions for you personally.
[00:11:38] Hala: So let's get the highlight reel. I don't think we have time to go through your entire journey, but why don't we start with your first job out of college. So you were unemployed, you were living in the house that you grew up in and your dad told you to go work at a home for underprivileged boys. So talk to us about how that experience changed your life.
[00:11:57] Ed: My dad came home from his first day. Is that crazy? He just got sober. Wow. He goes, Hey, I got you a job. And I said, what is it? He goes, you don't get to pick man. You're eating out of my fridge. I had just finished college. I was not employed. I go down there and it's an orphanage. My boys were all wards of the court, meaning their families were gone or they were taken from my boys.
[00:12:17] Ed: Their parents either molested them were dead or were incarcerated for major crimes. And so I walked into cottage jail. My boys were all eight to 10 years old. I had no preparation. I was not a psychologist. I didn't have any kids in my own and I didn't know what I was doing there. And the minute I walked in, they were all getting ready for school.
[00:12:36] Ed: And they all turned around and looked at me and here I am. And I went on to be a three-year journey where I was their brother and father, and I took them to school and took them trick or treat. And I was there on Thanksgiving when their uncles stood them up. I was their dad, their. And it changed my life and it changed my life.
[00:12:52] Ed: Because before that, I was all about me baseball, my ego, my problems, my life. Well, when you have 10 boys that are eight to 10 years old, depending on it, you don't have time to think about yourself. You have to think about them. And where's what I learned when I was there. And maybe this sounds hokey, but it's how I've made.
[00:13:05] Ed: I don't know, several hundred million dollars. So it's worth listening to, you know, those boys wanted for me, someone to love them. And someone to care about them. And here's a biggie that most people don't get someone to believe in them, believe in them, and then just show them how to do better. And while I was there, I started in my financial company and started other businesses, real estate and stuff.
[00:13:26] Ed: When I was there. And as I got out of there, I realized something, they weren't unique. Do you know what you want? Do you know what my best athletes want that I coach the people that run countries that. The most famous people you see me golfing with or whatever people that I work with. They want people to love them, care about them.
[00:13:44] Ed: Here's a big one, believe in them and then just show them how to do something better. So when I started my financial company, I came from a place of loving people, caring about people, truly believe in people. And then, Hey, let me show you when I can connect with you like that. Now let me show you how I can help you.
[00:13:57] Ed: Yeah. And that's where I've always built all my businesses, my podcast, my financial, my tech companies, my chocolate company, a food company, and my financial company, my real estate. And. All built based on what I learned from those boys. And here's the last thing God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called.
[00:14:13] I wasn't qualified to be there with those boys. But when I got there, I was called to be there. He then qualified me to help them. And so you don't have to be prepared all the time in life and know everything in order to step in somewhere and really make a difference. I love
[00:14:26] Hala: that. Do you still keep in touch with any of those boys?
[00:14:29] Ed: No. One's ever asked me that. God bless you. Yeah. About three quarters of them. Well, one of them has passed away. And a couple of them, we just lost contact with overtime, but they are there, there they're men with families now. And so, yeah, I do. And no one has ever asked that follow-up question in all the years.
[00:14:46] Ed: I've talked about that. So yeah, I do. I love them. They're my family.
[00:14:50] Hala: That's amazing. That's so sweet. So something that's really interesting is you just talked about, you just alluded to the fact that you have like 20 different businesses that you're invested. And a lot of people
[00:15:01] Hala: think that in order to be rich, you've got to have all these different income streams.
[00:15:05] Hala: You have to have multiple entry and streets, passive income and all these different things, but it turns out focus is really how you build your wealth and then you can kind of diversify your income later. So can you talk to us about the importance of focus and really getting good at one thing?
[00:15:20] Ed: Yeah, it's a lie that it's a fact it's not true that Mo all millionaires have multiple streams of.
[00:15:26] Ed: So then what do we do when we have no money? We go, well, I got a multiple lines. I gotta have a mortgage business. I'm going to do an auto detailing deal over there. I got a cannabis thing over here and you end up broke. So although it's true, it's although it's a fact it's not true. What do I mean? Once you become worth millions of dollars, then you diversify your income streams into multiple streams.
[00:15:46] Ed: But the path to getting there is by doing one thing. Great. Get great. Be the best mortgage broker. Be the best realtor. Be the best entrepreneur. Be the best, whatever it is, you do be the best podcast or the best influencer and build that thing. Great greatness rises greatness creates wealth. And if I'm full time at being great in one end.
[00:16:08] Ed: And you're splitting it between three. I'm gonna kick your ass. There's no way when you're doing three things and I'm in the same one where we overlap and I'm doing one. Imagine I wanted to be a major league baseball player and I'm coming up and I go, yeah, but I also wash clothes on the weekends. I'm learning to play the piano and I'm a.
[00:16:26] Ed: But you play baseball all day long. Who's going to be the major league baseball player. The idea that, oh, I'm going to diversify. So many of you are doing two and three things. God bless you. You're doing it for the right reasons. And you're D you're losing energy. You're depleting your ability to grow.
[00:16:39] Ed: You're going to get smoked by the person who dominates that space. You're in dominate the space. You're in dominate the business. You're in become a millionaire and then go multiple streams of income.
[00:16:51] Hala: I totally totally agree. I mean, I see it with podcasters all the time. There's people who are podcasts are, so you have no idea how podcasting works, how to make money in podcasting, how sponsorships work, how anything works.
[00:17:02] Hala: And it's like, you've got to learn your craft if you actually want to be successful at it or else nothing's going to happen. So here's another point that I think is just so it was so inspiring for me when I was like, just learning more about you and that's how you, you always talk about actually stepping into your dream.
[00:17:18] Hala: The need to actually experience your dream. I remember I heard you tell a story about you and your wife, like going to the Ritz Carlton and just doing that for one day to just feel like it's like what it's like to have valet parking and things like that today, you have a private jet and like that's insane.
[00:17:35] Hala: You know, you've elevated yourself to a point where barely anybody makes it to that point to be able to afford a private jet. And so talk to us about the need to actually experience
[00:17:45] Ed: your. You should touch your dreams. And the reason is you belong in them, but you move towards what you're most familiar with in your life.
[00:17:53] Ed: So if you're familiar all the time with your current thoughts and your current life, you'll constantly keep moving towards it. So every once in a while you got to go touch your dreams. So like you said, when I was up and coming, I would set, contest up with myself. If I didn't hit them, I wouldn't do it.
[00:18:05] Ed: But I'd say, babe, if I make 10 sales this month and I make eight grand, let's take 500. Let's go down to the Ritz Carlton on Saturday night, we'll get the cheapest room there, but I would touch the dream. And so I'd get there like a big shot. You know, I flipped my keys to the valet. I'd never done that crap before, you know, Hey Mr.
[00:18:21] Ed: My leg, they grabbed your bags. I used to be so cheap and like, no, we got our bags. Cause I don't wanna. The bellman four bucks now I'm like, no, you get my bag, man. You walk up, you check in, Hey babe, let's get up into the room. You go get a massage, honey, I'm gonna go play some golf. I'll meet you at the pool later.
[00:18:37] Ed: Let's have a bottle of wine. And so for one day we would touch this dream. We'd sit there and dangle, babe, we're going to live like this all the time. Someday we just take a taste and then maybe six weeks later, we do it again. Eight weeks later, we go out to the Lakita resort, you know, do it again. And all of a sudden over time, I'm like, I'm kind of familiar with the.
[00:18:53] Ed: I'm kind of familiar with ocean front. I'm kind of familiar with the golf course and I'm like, we belong here all of a sudden, the more familiar I became with it, then I started looking at the houses when I'm there right now, I start playing the golf a little bit different and over time I'm like we belong here.
[00:19:07] Ed: Cause I didn't grow up like that. We used to walk on the beach I live on right now. We go to the Ritz. I can walk to the montage. That was the other place we would go after I got older, I walk right to the montage, Rebecca. But we will come down this beach when we were kids, I say, babe, I'm gonna get us a house on this beat someday when we'll be taking these walks.
[00:19:22] Ed: No idea how I was going to do it. She says, you are honey. I'm like someday expert the high school sweethearts. I'm like, yeah, someday we're going to do it. And then I'd come home. I'd say to my dad and say, dad, who are these people? Who are these people? They're these? He goes doing. I have no idea who these fricking people I've never met any of them.
[00:19:35] Ed: I have no, I've never met someone who lives ocean front. And then I figured it out. So you in the book, I have this chapter called the matrix. I love the matrix about your RAs, but the real reason I read about the Mexico's Neo in the matrix is the one see in every family, if you find a family that's wealthy or successful or happy, but you go all the way back in their lineage.
[00:19:54] Ed: At one point they weren't. And then the one shows up the one in that family rises. It takes all the hits bites for that family. I'm the one in my family and they changed that family forever. The world doesn't treat them my lips, like they used to no, one's got their thumb on my family anymore. We think different.
[00:20:10] Ed: We operate in the world different because the one showed up the one. And if you're listening to this, you're the one in your family. You're the one. And over time of walking these beaches over time of going to the Ritz Carlton, I figured out I'm the fricking. And I'm the one that's going to do it now. I literally live on the beach.
[00:20:25] Ed: It's one. I own an island. It's about an island. It's a hundred acres. You still have a jet? I was bouncing. I had five jets. I've owned five Jetsons. And so you go from that to how broke I once was in my life. I've had the water turned off in my apartment. I've been completely without power, without water, without a cell phone, I've gone to an ATM and prayed.
[00:20:45] Ed: I had 21 bucks at the bank, so it spit a 20th because all it would spit was. And I got 14 bucks on there and I can't even get a $20 bill out of an ATM. I know what all that is, but I also know what it's like to touch my dreams. And now I know what it's like to live my dreams. And what's different about me than most people is I didn't get rich telling people how to get rich.
[00:21:04] Ed: I got rich. Then I tell people what I did to get rich. And so in this book is the strategies of how I did it and I documented it.
[00:21:12] Hala: It's a really good book. I think a great transition and foundation too, before we talk about the book is to talk about the reticular activating system. The RAs, we've talked about neuroplasticity a lot on the show.
[00:21:24] Hala: We've had John Astor, Ralph on and Dr. Caroline leaf. And we've talked a bit about this, but I'd love to hear it from your perspective. So what is the reticular activating system and how does things like stepping into your dream? Activate the system?
[00:21:38] Ed: You're one of my favorite interviews ever seriously. So res chapter two of my book, I cover, I called the matrix in the book, but here's what it is.
[00:21:44] Ed: It's the filter that reveals to you, everything that matters to you in your life, that's important. And it proves to you that you're right. It's the prover keeps you saying to otherwise, you'd be thinking about all the stimulus, the blood in your right here, going, I know you're breathing, right? So you have to stay sane.
[00:21:57] Ed: So it reveals to you what's most important to you. I'll give you an example. I just bought a Tesla about a week ago. I like what Elon Musk is doing. I called my team and go like, get me one of these Teslas. I'm gonna start driving the guy's car next day. Test. And I'm driving it all of a sudden. Now my seeing freaking Teslas everywhere, babe red one, there's a white one the other day.
[00:22:14] Ed: I'm like there's three in a row. You gotta be kidding. I'm on the freeway. Three lanes over the other direction going the other way, babe. There's a black Tesla. I see them everywhere now. Weren't they always there, they were. But I didn't see them before because they weren't a part of my RAs. They weren't programmed in my filter.
[00:22:30] Ed: When you go into a crowded room, I go into a crowded room. There could be 500 people in a room audibly. They'd have to say it loud. Someone says, ed, if I hear that name, I can hear it audibly over whites. It's important to me. So the key thing in life is that programming your mind, that the Teslas become the relationships, the meetings, the thoughts, the breakthroughs you have to have in your life.
[00:22:48] Ed: They were always there. They are there right now. But you're not seeing them because they're not programmed into your RAs. They're not programmed like the Teslas. How do you program? I teach you in the book, but I'll give you one thing. Repeated hyper visualizations of your dreams and your imagination and what you do.
[00:23:06] Ed: I have a chapter in the book where I say become an impossibility thinker and a possibility achiever. And here's the deal in your life. You operate of either two frames of thinking 99% of the people operate. Once they're an adult out of history and memory, they operate out of it. They have patterns of thoughts, patterns of behaviors.
[00:23:22] Ed: They operate out of this and they reinforce it with different people, different circumstances, same life. 1% of the people operate out of imagining. And dream. That's what they did when they were a child. The reason you were happier when you were a little girl or a little boy, one, you were closer to God, cause you would just left there too.
[00:23:37] Ed: You had no history and memory to operate out of. You operate out of imagination. So to flip that in your life, you start imagining and dreaming. When you have a thought, an actual thought, it creates a space in your world that did not exist prior to that thought being created. And now your mind goes to work on filling it up with references and.
[00:23:56] Ed: So, if you worry about your anxieties, your fears, your worries, your past, you constantly find the Teslas that reinforce that if you created a thought that's about the future and an imagination and a dream, and you go touch it once in a while and you repeatedly visualize it over and over again, very simple.
[00:24:12] Ed: I teach you how to do it in the book. You're doing it anyway. You repeatedly visualizing and thinking about what you're worried about, what you fear all the time. I'm just flipping it into imagination. Then you'll begin to see those Teslas of your life, the meetings, the people, the places, the. And by the way, you're one podcast away, one decision away, one meeting, one relationship away from changing your life.
[00:24:31] Ed: That's the power of one more also.
[00:24:33] Hala: Yeah. And so with the RAs, you could actually program it in a bad way. You could be thinking about bad things, saying bad things about yourself, and then you perceive the world with all these bad things that you don't want. So can you talk to us about how to make sure that we program it in the right way?
[00:24:51] Ed: Programming and the right way is repeated thoughts, visualizations. It's associating with people that also can reinforce those beliefs and thoughts. If you want to know how powerful our RAs is, let's go back to the drug addict or alcoholic example. You will find a way to get what you're obsessed with in your life.
[00:25:08] Ed: So if you're obsessed with your worries and your fears, you'll find a way to get them. You'll get them every week. You'll get them no matter how good life is, you'll get that depression. You get that anxiety. You'll get that anger. You'll get that worry because it's. Caroline leaf has a really interesting thing where she, she talks about like odd times, like our emotions are good or bad, they just are.
[00:25:25] Ed: And so whatever they are, you're going to get them that drug addict though. Think about this for a minute. Isn't it an incredible think of someone, you know, maybe that's had a drug problem. They could literally be living on the street. No resources, no job, no money, no nothing. Somehow every day they find a way to get those drugs.
[00:25:41] Ed: Don't they? How do they, maybe they got to do something illegal, whatever they got to do, they get those drugs. They get them no matter with no resources, no preparation, no nothing. So what if those drugs became your dreams? The fact that you have no preparation, the fact that you have no resources is inconsequential.
[00:25:58] Ed: People prove it every day with the negative stuff in their life. But you can prove what the positive stuff in your life and the way you do it is repeatedly visualizing it. The other thing you do is you begin to do one more
[00:26:08] Ed: in your life. Stay with me. I have a chapter on goals, which is great. I'll show you how to set goals the best way I know how, but at best, you're going to get 25% of your goals.
[00:26:17] Ed: If they're ambitious, what will you get all the time in your life, your standards, you will eventually always get your standards. So goals without standards are empty. That's why I teach the gold chapter and the standards. Chapter two. Standard stay with me. You've had someone on your show who stole my content.
[00:26:32] Ed: I guarantee you, because I've been saying this for 30 years and says, if you want to build self-confidence you gotta keep the promises you make to yourself. Yes. Everyone says that now. I'm pretty sure I said at first, but even if I didn't. And so if you don't have any self confidence, just because you have a reputation with yourself of keeping the, you don't keep the promises you make, you want to build self confidence, start keeping the promises you make, which is great, but anybody can do that.
[00:26:53] Ed: But what if you changed the standard? What if it was one more? What if I don't just keep the promises I make to myself, but I do one more. So I'm not just going to keep the promise to work out and do 10 reps in the gym. I'm gonna do. And do one more. I'm not just going to do cardio and do 30 minutes. I'm going to do it.
[00:27:08] Ed: And one more minute, I'm not just going to make 10 contacts a day. Keep that promise. I'm going to do the 10 context. Keep the promise and my standards. One more. I'm not just going to tell my daughter. I love her every day and keep that promise to myself. I'm going to do it. And then I'm going to do it one more time every day.
[00:27:23] Ed: Now you're superhuman. Now you've transformed yourself. And to someone who had no self-confidence to confidence, to superhuman. And so that's the standard that changes our life. And that's how we begin to reprogram our RAs.
[00:27:36] Hala: I love this concept of one more. I have to say, it's a very unique concept. I read self-improvement books all the time, and I love the fact that you're just saying like, just go a little further, like give it 110%.
[00:27:49] Hala: Don't just stop at a hundred. It's not enough. So I love that. So your book comes out June 1st. This is still coming out June 5th.
[00:27:55] Ed: Yeah, far as I know, I hope so
[00:27:58] Hala: amazing. I was lucky to get a copy of it before, like I said, I absolutely loved it. You just kind of went over one more. So let's talk about identity.
[00:28:07] Hala: I think that's the next good point to kind of discuss, let's talk about how you define identity and how our identity is shaped in childhood.
[00:28:15] Ed: Well it's installed in us. So our parents install our loving parents. Even if they're loving, they install some of their limiting beliefs into us. When we're defenseless, when we're kids, we don't know my dad, God blessed him.
[00:28:26] Ed: I love my father very much. He was a great man, but he would have this thing. He would always say to me, you'll get a kick out of this. He say, be careful since I was a little boy. Hey daddy, I'm going to look, Hey, have a great game. Be careful. I don't even think he knew why he was saying it. I'm 50 years old last year.
[00:28:40] Ed: What do you got going today? I go, I'm taking max to the age games. I have a great time. Be careful. What am I being careful for? Right. I got a speech in front of 30,000. He goes, crushed the speech. Be careful late here. Just it's a figure of speech, right. But it's reflective of something inside him. And my dad was not a risk taker.
[00:28:57] Ed: My dad always wondered who. And so I got older and I grew up my God, I gotta be careful. What are they going to do to me? Right. Maybe I don't wanna make a mistake. I, what are people gonna think about me? I don't want to blow this business deal. I don't, I I'd worry. Why am I worrying? Cause I'm always been told to be careful.
[00:29:11] Ed: He didn't even mean it, but he said it. And so that became part of my identity. Your identity is your self-worth. It's the thoughts, beliefs, and concepts that you hold to be the most true about you. Here's the best analogy I give on it. Your identity is the thermostat setting of your. So in this room, it said at 75 degrees, I sexually not.
[00:29:28] Ed: It's actually set at 70 today. So we'll use 70 it's at 70 degrees outside. I live at the beach. It's about 85 degrees right now. The external conditions have nothing to do with this thermostat because when it's 85 outside the air conditioner kicks on and regulates the room to 70. That's your life. I'm gonna explain your life.
[00:29:45] Ed: Do you now, everyone. If you stay at a 70 degree identity, let's just say there's different ones, faith, fitness, fun, bliss, peace money. Let's just use success, money. Let's just say you have a 70 degree internal thermostat worth of money, and you start learning all these skills on the podcast and in your business.
[00:30:05] Ed: And now you're at 80 man. You're cranking. You're making 150 grand to 95 degrees. Eventually when those results exceed your identity, you will unconsciously turn the air conditioner on of your life. Oh, everyone's like, holy shit. He's right. And you will eventually over time. Cool it back down to exactly what that thermostat setting is.
[00:30:23] Ed: No matter what, and it'll seem coincidentally like no, no, no. Crypto dropped, uh, the stock market went the wrong way. Our interest rates went up, supply chain. Uh, I had to loan my friend some money. My car broke down. My mom needed help. Bologna. You turn the air conditioner on in your life and you got. You see it in fitness, someone's a 70 degree fitness person.
[00:30:41] Ed: They got 20 pounds, too much weight. They lose the weight, you see them a year later, they put it back on air conditioner kicked back on. So the key thing is, as you're accumulating skills is to adjust your identity. And in the chapter, in the book, I teach a trilogy of identity. I'll just give you what it is without teaching it faith.
[00:30:57] Ed: If you're a person. It's amazing to me, how someone would go to church on Sunday and worship God, I'm a Christian, but whatever your faith is or their mosque or their synagogue, or maybe they go to Bible study, God's within them. But when they walk into a sales call, they're alone, when they walk into a business meeting and they're alone, bring your faith with you into your business, life to intentions.
[00:31:15] Ed: Give yourself more credit for your intentions in your life. Your intend to serve you intended before we. I turned my camera off real quick. I said, just give me a second. And I just went, Lord, just please bless me today. Let me say the right words on the show. And then I remind myself, I intend to help people today.
[00:31:30] Ed: I may not have every answer, but my intentions are good. My identity comes from that. And then the third part of the trilogy is associations. If you were around 150 degrees and you're a 70 degree, they will heat you up by proximity over time. And the closer you get to them, the more they can heat you up.
[00:31:45] Ed: And so faith, intention, associates.
[00:31:48] Hala: Yes. I love that. I want to dig deep on some of these. So let's talk about intention. So a lot of people, we were talking about it before. Sometimes we have negative self-talk and we truly believe we don't deserve what we want. Like, we might want to be a doctor, but like deep down inside, we don't feel like we're worth it to be a doctor.
[00:32:07] Hala: Can you talk about how we need to understand that our intention matters of wanting that goal? Because if we never really accept that we can achieve it, we'll never.
[00:32:18] Ed: I was 28 years old and I want a trip to Hawaii for my financial business. And luckily I get up before the sun does. And back in those days, I'm a hundred years old.
[00:32:26] Ed: So no one used to work out that was in the business where there was like people at the gym and they were all like in construction are blue collar, white collar. People never worked out. I was one of the first ones, you know, and I'm like, so I got up to run. Sun's not up yet. There's this guy running towards.
[00:32:40] Ed: On the beach, bald guy, Harry back sweat. And I'm like, whoa. And he gets closer to me. And it's a man named Wayne Dyer. And Wayne Dyer is one of the all-time most beautiful thought leaders influencers before they were influencers of all time. And it was a hero of mine. Like there was Tony Robbins and Wayne Dyer, and God's good that he brought both of them into my life as friends.
[00:33:01] Ed: So that morning he runs by and I go, wait, Dr. Dyer. I had a Walkman Sony Walkman on, so, and I go, Dr. Dyer, you changed my life. And he had a deep voice, like me turns around, he pulls his Walkman off. He goes, well, I doubt that you probably changed your life, but how did I help? And he walks towards me and we sit down on the beach and for the next 90 minutes I watched the sun come up and I talk with one of the greatest thought leaders in the world.
[00:33:24] Ed: And in that conversation, he said, ed, you're going to change the world. I'm sure he said that to other people. Right. But at the time I was like, really? And he said, you're brilliant the way you think about the mind and life and business. My gosh. And he goes, and that's not. And he goes, and if you begin to attach your confidence and worth ed to your abilities and your achievements, you're in big trouble.
[00:33:43] Ed: And I went, what I thought you were supposed to do that. He goes, ed, you'll always be chasing it. And when you have a setback or you have a, it's going to cascade down on you, I go, then what should I attach my worth to? He said, you're going to change the world because your heart's so big. Your intentions are amazing.
[00:33:58] Ed: Focus on your intentions, all your life. You intend to make a difference. You intend to get there because you know, there's nothing wrong with walking into a meeting going, I don't know, but I'll find out there's nothing wrong with saying I've changed my mind. There's nothing wrong with saying I was wrong.
[00:34:11] Ed: And he said, you have beautiful intentions. And it was something I knew by the way, everyone listening to this, they know about themselves. I never believed my abilities were great. Anybody ever told me I'm like, yeah, but you know, or you're being nice. But when someone says you intend to help, you intend to do good.
[00:34:26] Ed: I'm like, Hmm, you got me there. You're right. I do. And so for the rest of my life so far, I've attached my, worth my identity to my intention, to what I walked into that orphanage was I the most skilled psychologist or dad in the world? No. My intentions were to love those. My intentions were to show up for them every day and make a difference in their life.
[00:34:49] Ed: And I showed up damn big. I showed up strong. I've showed up to a lot of business meetings, not the most smart guy in the room, but I showed up in tending to help people and I've shown up big. So this thing of linking to your intentions will change your life.
[00:35:02] Hala: Yeah, I think this is just so powerful. Like not being worried about where you are now in the present and realizing that your potential is your intentions to improve in your life.
[00:35:11] Hala: And that is.
[00:35:13] Hala: So one other thing that I learned about you and I was studying you is how loyal you are. Like, you're really loyal. You've been with the same woman since you were in grade school. Which for me, I, as like, as a woman, I'm like, oh wow, this is like a good man. I would love to understand, like, how do you design your social circle in terms of the associations you make in your life? Because clearly you've kept some people around for a long time.
[00:35:33] Hala: You didn't just go try to find a new circle. There's a lot of people that you've kept around. So how do you design your social
[00:35:39] Ed: circle? That whole thing like drop certain people. I've had to drop a few, but not that many. What I have done with people that don't serve me any longer as I've reduced my proximity to them.
[00:35:48] Ed: I don't see them as much. But for them to be banished from my life, I've not done a lot of that. I add new people. And so what I try to do when I add new people, as I want it, I want people that love me, but I actually look for a criteria and people that do, they support my values. And so, like, I don't like when I, uh, I go to Vegas a couple of times a year with a group of men, all of them are amazing husbands.
[00:36:11] Ed: A couple of them are pastors of churches. You know, like it doesn't hurt, but like, I don't want to be around dudes who. Live that part of their life correctly, because it might rub off on me. I'm not perfect. So I want, I want to rub off on me. If someone is, um, doesn't keep their word or isn't meticulous and telling the truth, we all have that forever.
[00:36:28] Ed: Like he is such a bullshitter. Right? You have that friend. They're not gonna be around me that much. Yeah. I want people to believe in me. And here's the biggie. I have a lot of people. I have a lot of funny friends. You see them on my social media. Like I have people that really make you laugh. I love people that make me laugh and I'm an introvert.
[00:36:43] Ed: So I like to be around extroverted people. So I can just be a fly on the. And so, but a big one is that I want people who don't accept me as I am. And most people are looking for friends who accept them as they are. I'm not looking for that. I'm not looking for acceptance. I'm looking for people that believe in me so much.
[00:36:57] Ed: That they think I could even be better than I am and they hold me to that standard. There's that standard word again? That when I'm around him, here's a biggie. Wow. Are you going to be shocked when you listen to this one? Everyone. If more than 5% of our friends conversations are about, remember when remember your member, you met George Lopez has this great skin on it.
[00:37:17] Ed: What do you do when you get a lot of your friends reminisce? Which is cool a little bit, 5% of the time, but that means you're operating out of that history and memory. Most of my friends, we do a little, I mean, very little of the remember, but we do a lot of imagining. We do a lot of dreaming. We do a lot of here's where I'm going, man.
[00:37:35] Ed: Here's what I'm thinking. Here's what we could do. Let's do this next. We operate in the present, but we talk about the future a lot, not the past. I don't want a lot of friends to talk about the past. I can do that anytime. I want that. Ain't where I'm at right now. Yeah.
[00:37:47] Hala: That's huge. I love that. Okay, let's talk about the difference between self-confidence and identity.
[00:37:54] Hala: I think this is another big concept in your book. Talk to us about what we need to understand when it comes to self-confidence and how it differs from identity.
[00:38:03] Ed: Well self-confidence is that relationship? It's a reputation that you have with yourself. Identity is who you believe you are. And so they're connected.
[00:38:11] Ed: They're like identical twin sisters, but they're not exactly the same. Self-confidence is a relationship and reputation with yourself. That's what it is. And for me, there's another side of self-confidence that most people don't talk about, which is humility. I want friends that have tremendous humility along with their self-confidence.
[00:38:30] Ed: Humility keeps you curious. It keeps you growing only a super self-confident truly self-confident person can be humble because they're comfortable with themselves enough to say, I could get better. It takes strength to say I could get better. It takes strength to have humility. And so I look for that and I hope I have that identity is actually who you believe you are and what you believe you are.
[00:38:53] Ed: And that's a whole different animal altogether. And so, although I want you to have a ton of self-confidence, you could be the most confident thing in the world, but what if you've placed your confidence in an identity about yourself? That's way less than it's true. So I'm very confident in who I am ever meet these people.
[00:39:08] Ed: And they're really confident about it. It's just who I am, man. It's just who I am. They're really competent director. So they've got a ton of self-confidence they're just wrong or limited than themselves in their identity on. So although I really believe working on your confidence is not that difficult to do.
[00:39:23] Ed: And you should do the real hard work in. It's to change that identity because that identity, you started developing that thing. When you were a little girl and you fed it over time. And so that identity is this thing. You're never going to escape. It's that thermostat setting of your life. And for me, it's look, if I'm really the child of a loving God, if you really believe that, how am I not amazing?
[00:39:45] Ed: How am I not been born to do something great with my life? So if you have a faith, attach it to your identity, I'm your brother, because we're the same bloods running through both. But I'm a child of an awesome God. So there's that my intentions, man, I really want to make a difference in the world. I really want to help people.
[00:40:02] Ed: I'm looking at the ocean right now. I could actually just have my butt on that beach right now, every single day if I wanted to, but that's not what my intentions lie. My intentions lie that someone's listening to this right now. It's going to change their life. You're going to grab my book. It's going to change their freaking life.
[00:40:15] Ed: So my intentions are good. And then third I'm around people all the time. Who believe in me, who challenged me, who pushed me, who were further down there, there's this great Chinese proverb that says, if you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back. And so I try to have some friends in my life that are older than me that have already been down the road.
[00:40:33] Ed: I'm going, and I can ask them for directions. And so for me, for most of you, I could be that person. Mine is people, you know, really, really well, who run big, big companies and are well-known people, but only reason it's not because they're well-known, if they've been down the road and they're coming with.
[00:40:49] Ed: And so I want to know the road ahead. And so that's who you should have in your life is someone like that. And by the way, not all your associations have to be in person. They could be a book. When I read a book, I pretend I'm living with Napoleon hill that week. I'm living with ed, my leg. He's speaking to me.
[00:41:03] Ed: These words were written for me. He's talking to. I've spent the week with Wayne Dyer. Many times when I wasn't with him before I met him, I felt like when I met him, I knew him. When people meet me, my biggest compliment give me is they feel like they know me. And that means they've really studied me.
[00:41:17] Ed: They've really been in my life. And hopefully when I make an Instagram post or I have a podcast or a YouTube video, or I write a book, they're like, you're talking to me and that's association as well as is stuff like. Yeah,
[00:41:29] Hala: 100%. I have to say that. I feel like, especially if you're just starting out, if you just read and keep leveling up and leveling up and leveling, eventually you're going to meet your mentors that you're reading.
[00:41:38] Hala: Just like what you're saying. I've been listening to ed my lead for years now, I'm interviewing him, you know, because I leveled myself up to be able to have the opportunity to do something like that. And part of that is learning and studying and doing things on your own. And sometimes your mentors or people you don't really get to talk to, to your point.
[00:41:56] Hala: I love that. Okay. So one story that I want you to share that I think is gonna help us, like kind of wrap things up and round things out is your story about your uncle who passed away when he was just 50 years old and how that really triggered you to create a healthier lifestyle for yourself and set your perspective in terms of how you set goals and standards.
[00:42:19] Hala: And some of the things that you've been alluding to that I really want you to cover before
[00:42:22] Ed: we end. I want to acknowledge you though. I mean, you really do your research. You really do. You're incredible. Thank you. My uncle was my godfather and in my family, uh, Godfather's a big deal. I looked like him. You ever have that road of you look like you kind of looked like him, right?
[00:42:37] Ed: So, I mean, I kind of looked like him. He was walking through the lobby of a hotel when he was 50 and he passed over and died of a massive heart attack, young family, three children. And when I was at his funeral, I was flying back with my wife on the airplane and heart attacks or in my RAs. And the Oprah Winfrey show is playing on the TV, on the radio of the TV of the airplane.
[00:42:56] Ed: All of a sudden I have my headphones on listen to, and I see this heart on the screen. I noticed that I unplugged my headphones, plugged into the plane system. They're telling me these new scans that could read for plaques and arteries. And I go to Christiana. I go to my wife, I go, Hey, sign me up for one of those.
[00:43:09] Ed: She goes, why you're barely 30. I go, I don't know. I think I should get it done. She's like, you're the fittest dude in the world. I go. And so I ended up going to do the scan and I had a doctor who understood influence and change. What do most doctors do? Okay. Here's your prescription? It didn't do that. So you do the scan.
[00:43:24] Ed: I went to lunch, I literally got a burrito. I came back in and I'm in the lobby. There's two people in the lobby. This doctor knew who I was. He was pretending, but he was getting leverage on me because when you have big enough reasons, remember this you'll do anything for those reasons. That's my chapter on goal six, mainly about reasons.
[00:43:42] Ed: So he goes, I'm looking for Edward. And I go, I'm add my let. And he goes, oh. And he looks down at my chart and we're standing in the lobby still. And he goes, oh my God, I can't believe these arteries are in that young of a man's body. And I went, what the F is it that scanned? Right. He's already got my attention.
[00:44:00] Ed: Right. He knows how to present. He goes, wow, come with me young man. And we walked in silence back into his office. He sits down and he closes the folder. So my information's in that folder, what could he have really done this isn't sales to it? You could just give the presentation. But they didn't create the need or the reasons they didn't get me emotional.
[00:44:16] Ed: Cause you're always making people feel something. He took control of what he wanted me to feel. Most people aren't intentional about their energy and what they make people feel. He puts it down. He goes, let me just ask you a question, young man. I said, yeah, he goes, are you married? And he knew, I said, I am, sir.
[00:44:31] Ed: You love your wife. I go, yeah. I met her when we were little kids. He goes, you got. I said, yeah, I got a little two year old and he goes, that's awesome. He goes, do you have any interest in being at, as a high school graduation? I said, what did you just say? He goes, do you want to be at his high school graduation?
[00:44:43] Ed: I said, of course I do. He goes, you're not going to be not the road. You're going, you're going to be just like your uncle Mike. Now I know he knows about me. And he goes, you got a little girl. I said, yes, she's a little baby. And this is where you get to a dad. He goes, what's her name? I said, Bello. He goes, do you want to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day?
[00:45:00] Ed: Or is she going to be there on the arm of another. Giving her away. I went what the is in that scan dude. And he goes, you listened to me very carefully young man, if you don't change what you're doing, you won't be there for that graduation. There'll be another man on the army, your beautiful wife running around your mansion.
[00:45:15] Ed: And that same guy is going to walk your daughter down the aisle on her wedding day. If you don't change. Um, like what is that in that scan now it's got me, right? That's how you sell by the way. And he goes, here's the good news. If you do exactly what I tell you to do, you'll walk that little precious girl of yours down the aisle someday.
[00:45:29] Ed: And if you don't, it's not going to happen. You do exactly what I tell you. Workout nutrition, supplements, the Medicaid. And I've done it. People ask me you're 51. You're one of the more fit dudes in the world at your age. Why is it? Because about 10 million mornings a year, I'm exaggerating. I wake up and I don't want to go work out and I go Bella's wedding and I get my ass up out of that bed.
[00:45:50] Ed: And I go work out. I've been on the road for three days. I haven't, you know, there's no Bella's wedding. Get up, find it. And so it's changed my life, that meeting because he got leverage on me and reasons you show me a man or a woman with big enough reasons, really big reasons, which are always born out of love.
[00:46:07] Ed: I'll show you somebody who will get up and do anything to make that happen. And that's the reason why I'm still here. Hopefully she's not getting married anytime soon, but if she does, I'm ready to walk her down there. It's
[00:46:17] Hala: such a beautiful story and it's so powerful because it's empty. Like goals can be really empty, right?
[00:46:23] Hala: Goals can be empty, harness falls through on if there's no big reason behind it. And so I guess the moral of the story is to have a reason and have it be connected to love and people like you just said, I think that's another key point to,
[00:46:37] Ed: yeah. People always ask me, what are your reasons are two things, they're your dreams or other than.
[00:46:42] Ed: Yeah,
[00:46:42] Hala: I totally agree. Okay. So one last thing before we wrap up, and that's your concept of blissful dissatisfaction? I feel like this is a really important point that I want my listeners to understand, because you say there's two great motivators. There's wanting something and trying to get that thing.
[00:46:58] Hala: And then there's also avoiding pain. So talk to us about why we need both and, uh, then we can close.
[00:47:05] Ed: You can get both levers. So what did the doctor do that day? The pain of me dying and missing my daughter's wedding and also the pleasure of being there. So those are the two big drivers in our life, but what most of us do, I believe in the concept of blissful dissatisfaction, here's what most people do.
[00:47:17] Ed: They conflate and confuse two things. Satisfaction is not happiness. You can actually be happy and still discuss. You can do both satisfaction, happiness. Aren't the same thing. So I've learned to live blissfully and still be dissatisfied. Dissatisfaction means I'm capable of more. I'm not there yet. I'm dissatisfied.
[00:47:35] Ed: I'm gonna go get it. But most people conflate those things. So people think to themselves, well, I like achievers. They're big on this, man. I'll enjoy it. I'll give myself bliss when I got to stay perpetually unhappy and dissatisfied, because I think it's the same thing. So when I get to a million bucks in the bank, then I'll enjoy myself.
[00:47:54] Ed: Then I'll get myself blessed. When I get the dream relationship, then I'll be blissful. When my podcast is number one, then I'll be blissful when I'm this or that, then I'll be blissful. When I get to a million followers, then I'll be. And they delay their bliss until a destination in the future. The problem is the finish line keeps moving.
[00:48:09] Ed: And eventually, if you don't give yourself bliss for what you're doing, you burn out because your brain doesn't get any dopamine for its success. And eventually it goes, it concludes I don't want to do this anymore. You've talked enough about neuroplasticity and understand the neurology of the brain.
[00:48:22] Ed: That if you don't get dopamine for doing something over and over and over again, you stop. Then there's the other people they think. Well, if I, you know, if I lose this pain, Then I'll lose my drive and ambition. Neither is true. You ever bite into it like a steak you love or any food? You'd love that first steaks blissful.
[00:48:39] Ed: You give yourself a total dose of bliss. Does it make you want to take another bite or no, of course it does. So I'm not a bliss you get in celebrating your wins and your success. Actually gets you to do more of that very thing, not less of that very thing. And so I've learned to live blissfully happy and still be dissatisfied.
[00:48:57] Ed: In fact, I think I'm a pretty good example of that. Like I'm a pretty darn happy blissful person, but I'm not satisfied. I got more to do more people to help more things to achieve more memories I want to create. So I've learned to live in. You don't have to live in misery as you're chasing your dream, you don't have to be miserable and angry and down and delay bliss to get there.
[00:49:17] Ed: In fact, take it from me cause I used to do that. And here's what I figured out. I was winning in spite of that flawed belief system. Not because of it. And what I figured out is the more I celebrate, the more I enjoy, the more I give myself dopamine hits, the bigger I get, the more I expand, the more I grow and so learn to be in bliss and dissatisfied at the same.
[00:49:38] Hala: I love that. Okay. So we asked the same last two questions to all of our guests, and then we do some fun stuff at the end of the year. So the first one is what is one actionable thing that my young and profiteroles can do today to become more profitable tomorrow.
[00:49:53] Ed: Do the inconvenient thing. I have a chapter in the book called one more inconvenience.
[00:49:57] Ed: It's changed your relationship with. Begin to willing to do hard and difficult things. When you look at your given day or your week, do the inconvenient thing, not the convenient thing. Everyone does the convenient thing. Do the inconvenient, most difficult thing you could possibly do because that's the thing that produces the biggest results.
[00:50:14] Hala: And what is your secret to profiting
[00:50:16] Ed: in life? It's the service of other people I want to help someone else. So my secret of profiting is that I solve people's problems, my businesses solve a problem. And so if you can find a problem and you can see. You're going to win, by the way, you don't have to always create a new industry.
[00:50:30] Ed: Either. Sometimes it's getting into an industry that already exists and just doing it better than what the competition does. And in a lot of businesses, nowadays, small is better. Nimble is better. You can move quicker. You can pivot, you can adjust. You can course correct much faster and much better, and much more boldly with better customer service, better culture than a big company, because they have taken longer to move and make decisions.
[00:50:53] Hala: I love that. And where can our listeners go find more about you and everything? You
[00:50:57] Ed: can go get the power of one more. Anywhere. Books are sold, you can go to the power of one more.com and you can get a bunch of tools. That'll enhance the book. You can go to ed, my let, and my last name is M Y L E T T. And you can go anywhere.
[00:51:11] Ed: Social Instagram, probably my biggest platform. Social is Instagram. But I'm on LinkedIn. I'm on everywhere, but Instagram, I've got a very, you know, pretty successful podcast that I do a serious now, but you can listen to it on iTunes and Spotify and Stitcher anywhere. You can get a podcast, apple, and I've got a YouTube channel as well.
[00:51:27] Ed: So anything with my name on it, just type my name and you'll find me.
[00:51:30] Hala: And we're going to stick all those links in the show notes, ed, this was such an amazing conversation. Thank you so much for your time. I really enjoyed it.
[00:51:37] Ed: I enjoyed it. So thank you so much. God bless you.
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