#113: Look On The Bright Side with Jon Gordon

[00:00:00] Hala Taha: [00:00:00] You're listening to YAP. Young and profiting podcast, a place where you can listen, learn, and profit. Welcome to the show. I'm your host Hala Taha. And on young and profiting podcast, we investigate a new topic each week and interview some of the brightest minds in the world. My goal is to turn their wisdom into actionable advice.

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We're chatting with Jon Gordon, a serial author and world renowned speaker. Jon's best-selling books and talks on positive leadership, sales and teamwork have inspired millions around the world. He is the author of 23 books, including 10 bestsellers. And he wrote the timeless classic, The Energy Bus, which still tops the charts 14 years later. Jon has been featured on the Today Show, CNN , CNBC, and a numerous magazines. His clients include the Los Angeles Dodgers, the Miami Heat, Campbell Soup, Dell, Snapchat, and so many more. In this episode, we talk about how Jon grew up around a lot of negativity, and yet he learned how to be super positive and turn that into his life's mission.

We'll also talk about the beginning of his writing career, key principles from his bestseller, The Energy Bus, his alternative to a New  Year's resolution, and why you should be more like a coffee bean. Hi, Jon, welcome to young and [00:02:00] profiting podcast.

Jon Gordon: [00:02:01] Hello, great to be with you.

Hala Taha: [00:02:03] I'm super excited. You're an expert on positivity, leadership teams, and these are all things that I love to talk about for our listeners who may not know you, you are the author of 17.

I think at least 17 books, probably more than that by now.

Jon Gordon: [00:02:18] It's actually 23 right now.

Hala Taha: [00:02:20] Wow.  So it's I couldn't even keep up. I was like, how many books does this guy have you got so many, you are a world renowned speaker everybody wants you on their stages. You spoken for a fortune 500 companies. You've worked with fortune 500 companies. You've also worked with huge sports teams, so really exciting stuff. And I know my listeners are going to love everything you have to talk about, and you're known for your positivity, but I was doing research and found out that you actually were not born very positive.

You actually grew up with quite a negative mindset and it had to do with the environment that you were around. So I want to understand how you ended up becoming positive. What was that turning point and [00:03:00] how you grew up and how that impacted your mindset as a young adult?

Jon Gordon: [00:03:04] I think it's ironic that this is my life's work on positivity because I'm not naturally positive. I grew up in Long Island, New York in a Jewish Italian family, a lot of food, a lot of guilt, a lot of wine, a lot of whining. And so there was a lot of negativity, a lot of complaining, a lot of love too. I was very loved, but there was just a lot of negativity in my family. My dad was in New York city police officer undercover narcotics. So he was fighting crime every day. He saw the worst of the worst. He was shot a few times. So he wasn't very positive, very loving man, but just one of the most negative guys on the planet. And so you grew up in this kind of environment where just a lot of negativity, like I said, a lot of love, but a lot of negativity.

So I naturally was taught to take on the world. The world is out to get you. The world is not for you. You have to battle the world. So I grew up in many ways, a fighter. And then years later, I struggle with negativity so much that my wife almost left me. I [00:04:00] was 31 years old. We had two small children and I lose my job in the.com crash.

So this was a terrifying time in my life. The fear, the stress, the anxiety. I was crumbling from the inside out. And I was being negative to her. I was blaming her why my life was so bad and she had enough. She's I love you, but I'm not going to spend my life with someone. Who makes me so miserable, like you need to change.

And I had to change. She was ready to walk out and I begged her stay and I agreed to change. And I began to research ways that I could be more positive. Now this was during the emerging field of positive psychology. So this was very new. So I started to find this research and I started to practice these ideas.

I started taking a walk of gratitude every day. I read you can't be stressed and thankful at the same time. If you're feeling blessed, you can't feel stressed. So every day I would take these walks and I would just practice gratitude. I would say what I was thankful for and what you're doing is you're flooding your brain and body with these positive [00:05:00] emotions that have lift you rather than the stress hormones that solely drain you.

And over time actually slowly kill you. So every day you're doing this, you're creating a fertile mine for a heart that is ready for great things to happen. I often say now abundance flows into your life. When gratitude flows out of your heart. And that changed my life. Those walks started to change my life.

It's where every book idea came. It's where I started to process things. It's where I started to be more positive. And it wasn't an overnight thing, but definitely I've learned that being positive doesn't just make you better. It makes everyone around you better. So my negative beginnings, my negative family really pushed me in many ways towards positivity and this work.

Hala Taha: [00:05:40] It's so interesting because it's something that I often talk about, which is you need to engrain these kind of good habits into your life into a routine. So that's what you did with your walk. You had the routine of being saying grateful things are saying positive affirmations during this walk. And then that kind of helped build that in your brain.

So that. I [00:06:00] think now, do you even think about it anymore or are you just more naturally positive because you've built it into your processes?

Jon Gordon: [00:06:06] So we're all born, the research shows with a positivity set point, right? And so we all have a certain set point, just like we have a weight set point, but you can actually become healthier, stronger fitter in the same way.

You can be become more positive. You can mold your brain. I rewired my brain from negative to positive. And yes, I. I am naturally now, more positive. I more naturally go there, but I'm not as positive as my wife or some other people who are naturally that way. So I do have to work at it every day. If I don't, I will actually start to slip towards negativity, but doing the work every day, it is much more natural now.

So where I used to be very depressed and I had a lot of anxiety. I would wake up everyday like that. Now I wake up like that maybe once a month where it was like almost every day. So it's changed in many ways. For me, my spirit's different, my soul's different, my mind is different. Everything's different.

I'm different in a lot of ways, better in [00:07:00] a lot of ways.

Hala Taha: [00:07:01] I think this makes you a great teacher for the fact that you actually were somebody who needed help at this, I'm actually really positive and naturally positive. And so I'm sure my listener has, some of them out there feel thankful that they have somebody else to relate to in this conversation who isn't always so positive about everything.

So I did hear that you were into Buddhism at one point. And to me, that was really interesting. And I was wondering like, was that on your positivity journey that you found Buddhism? And I think a lot of people have heard of Buddhism, but they don't really know what it is. So can you talk to us about that experience and what principles you've kept since you learned that at first?

Jon Gordon: [00:07:35] Yeah, that was on my path of seeking and trying to get rid of the pain that I had, the burden that I have, the fear of the anxiousness that I had. And in many ways. I was trying to find an answer to my problem. And so Buddhism was, for me, it was big on meditation. So I was really seeking a spiritual connection.

And so with Buddhism it's meditation, and you're finding stillness, you're finding silence. And [00:08:00] it was helpful for me to do meditation and to really find that quietness and stillness. And I think. In those times, a lot of ideas came to me in different inspirations came to me, but it wasn't the ultimate answer for me.

I do think it's a great discipline on your path. Now, looking back, what I realized is I don't believe you connect to nothingness, which is Buddhism is all about, like you're connecting to nothingness. I believe you connect to everythingness, and so you're connecting to, I believe God, the creator of the universe.

And so I become more spiritual in that way where. There's a God, there's a Creator, universe means one song. And so there is a song, songs don't happen by accident. Songs are created. I do believe in a designer. I look at my body, my eyes, I look at the way patterns happen, in, nature, these patterns, I believe have a creator.

And so I believe that when I'm now meditating or for me now it's more praying. That's how I connect. So it's been like an evolution for me, but Buddhism was a very big part of my path. Our dog was named Dharma [00:09:00] and really everything you do on your life. Every step you take is part of the path of you growing becoming who you're meant to be.

And for me, it was a really big part of my spiritual path, for sure.

Hala Taha: [00:09:12] Totally understand what you mean there. So let's take it back to your young adulthood. Your mom wanted you to be a lawyer and so you're in law school and you ended up dropping out to work in tech because it was super exciting, but then you ended up losing your job because of the.com bubble.

So talk to us about that super low point in your life. I think that a lot of people that listen to my podcast or young adults in college, probably in med school or law school, or just college in general because their parents wanted them to not necessarily, because that was their passion. So talk to us about that time in your life and how you ended up going after your dreams, even when people that you love, like your mom wanted you to do something else.

Jon Gordon: [00:09:52] You really have done your homework. I appreciate that. That's awesome. Yes, I went to law school and I went to law school for a year and a half and I [00:10:00] dropped out. I walked out of my second year exams okay, this is not for me. People to this day, my fellow classmates say it was legendary. The way I just got up and walked out.

I'm like, I'm outta here. I'm not doing law school. For me, my mom wanted to be a lawyer. So that's why I was doing it. I've learned that sometimes you have to lose a goal to find your destiny. And so law school for me was not part of my path. I was doing it for her. So walking, I was freeing.

I went to go work for this.com where had 80,000 shares. It was this exciting.com wireless technology. We were translating data from mainframes to wireless devices. This is  was before the iPhone, before phones. We were actually taking data and delivering to wireless devices. We sold the NFL on NFL wireless.

So I'm the one who did that. I sold the NFL on that. So we were very. At the forefront of everything that was happening, very exciting, but the.com crashed. And even before that, I have to say, I ran for city council. I walked door to 7,000 houses, lost [00:11:00] the election. This was before law school. I started a nonprofit that raised money for youth focused charities called the Phoenix organization in Atlanta.

Did that would bring all these young professionals together and we'd raise money and have a huge impact. I was in the bar business at 24. I bought a bar with money that my grandmother gave me when she died. I didn't come from a wealthy family at all. My parents never made more than $30,000 a year. But my grandmother died and left me this money.

I put that into a bar with some partners and we made it really successful. So I went from the bar business to open starting this Phoenix organization while I had the bar I'm moving and shaking. I run for city council. I lose the election. Think my life is over. I then go to law school. I then joined this.com, the.com crashes.

And now I'm like, What am I going to do? We had just moved to Jacksonville, Florida from Atlanta. I'm like, what am I doing? How am I gonna support my family? Two small kids. It was a very terrifying time. And when my wife almost left me, I remember thinking, [00:12:00] what am I born to do? Why am I here? I asked that question and writing and speaking came to me and I did not know what I was going to write and speak about, but I knew I wanted to inspire others.

The way books had inspired me in the past. And so I said, okay, I'm going to do this somehow some way, second mortgage on our home, $20,000 in credit cards. And we opened up this Moe's Southwest Grill, a franchise in Jacksonville. First moves in Florida, six most in the entire country. There's now 300 miles, I believe around the country.

And we opened this up and literally we were hanging by a thread. Not sure if we were going to make it or not. Didn't know if we're going to go bankrupt. Terrifying time in my life, but it's where my faith was born. It's where I learned to trust. It's where I learned to go for it. We often think that, our dream job is something that we've always dreamed about, but actually it's, it often comes from our path, from our experiences. There is no straight line to success. You [00:13:00] experienced ups and downs. And several years later as the restaurant was getting going, I'm like, okay, I have several of them now. I'm going to now focus on writing and speaking during that path while the restaurant was going and making some money.

I started doing these local talks. I did 80 free talks. So I was working on my craft. I was getting better. I wrote a few small books that really didn't do well at all, but I wrote these small things and then several years later I said, okay, I'm going to now sell. The most, I'm going to focus on writing and speaking.

I had a sign that it was time to sell memory, telling my wife she's no, we can't sell. I said, no we're selling because she was just getting comfortable. We had just had so many rocky roads on the path of where we were and she's no, we can't. I said, we're selling, I'm going to do this writing and speaking a hundred percent of full-time.

She said, what happens. If it doesn't make it. I said there are no other options at that point. I'm 35 years old. We sold the Moe's got a good chunk of money, not a huge amount, but a good chunk that could allow [00:14:00] us to live for maybe two years if I never made a dime after that. And I'm now going to say, I'm now going to start writing and speaking, but now everything dries up.

Nothing is happening. It's not making it. So now I'm going, what did I do? And I'm thinking, okay, should I start something else? Should I get a job I'm walking one day, I'm taking one of those walks, affirmations, gratitude, then prayer. And The Energy Bus comes to me and I write this book. Right after that in three and a half weeks of just pure inspiration, it just came to me.

 And I write this book, it gets rejected by 30 publishers. So we think, okay, write this book. I'm going to be an instant success. No, it gets rejected by 30 publishers told no. Found an agent. Even she said, no, it's not going to work. Just self-publish now self publishing is very popular and I often recommend it back then.

It wasn't very popular. I said, no, I need a publisher. Kept on hoping, kept on dreaming, [00:15:00] kept on praying. Finally, John Wiley and Sons, a big time publisher agreed to publish the book. They do all the dummy series and they said we don't have a lot of money, but we can give you a smaller events and we'll do it.

I said, I don't care. Just the fact that you want to do it is great. They published the book. It was coming out. Six months later, they were able to get out quick and not one bookstore in the United States would carry the book. So again, another tough experience. I remember feeling dejected. Like you write this book, you think you gonna change the world and now bookstores won't even carry it.

There was no social media at the time. There was no Instagram and Twitter. This is how old I am. And next thing I decided to go on a 20th city tour, paid for myself from city to city sharing the message of the book, wrapped a little vehicle, like an energy bus and drove cross country and went to every, not every 28 cities.

And it was awesome, but not successful. Just an awesome experience. Five people in one city, 10 people in another. 20 another, the most people we had were a hundred people in De Moines, Iowa. They thought Jeff [00:16:00] Gordon was coming. The race car driver. They showed up and didn't know what the future held. But I remember I got back.

My wife was there. I literally wept when I saw her came in the door. I'd been away for three and a half weeks. My kids seeing her, she was so supportive and I didn't know what the future held, but I knew I had to just share this message and mission. It really was a mission. It was a message. It's it was driven by purpose.

We don't get burned out because of what we do. We get burned out because we forget why we do it. And I really had my why. And I was being molded and shaped on this tour to make a difference one person at a time. So my, my mission was to encourage and inspire millions of people, one person at a time. And in one event we had six people.

So I was really doing it one person at a time. And that's where my humility was born. It's where. I really learned it was about the work, making a difference, energy bus and become a success for five years and then become a best seller for five years. Now, the book has sold over two and a half million copies and it regularly makes the [00:17:00] best seller list.

The wall street journal bestseller list, every month it makes the list. Even now 14 years later, it's more popular now than it was then. So I tell this because young people, we think we're going to have instant success. We think we have to pick our job right out of college. We think that if we change jobs or if we quit, we're a failure.

If you're meant to do something else, you should quit that job and go after the job or the career or the mission you truly want. Don't settle just because it's a paycheck. Like life is too short. You got to go after it. It doesn't mean you quit tomorrow, but you start to make a plan of doing what you want.

And it's okay to fail. I think so often with social media today, we're so afraid of failure because the world is looking at us from the outside that we don't truly look inside to our heart, our soul, our spirit, our passion, to what we truly want.

Hala Taha: [00:17:51] Oh, my gosh. There's so many lessons to unpack in there. Your story is so amazing.

I loved what you said about how, you've got to give up a [00:18:00] goal to basically find your destiny or go towards your destiny. And that's so true. Sometimes even if you have something good. You have people around you that love you that are like no, you've got this great restaurant in your case. For me, it was, you have this amazing executive career.

How could you let it go and become an entrepreneur? But when you know, inside that, it's your purpose and you know that you can do it and you have a mission to achieve. You can't listen to everybody else. You have to follow your intuition. And it sounds like you had really good intentions too, which I think is a huge part of it in terms of having success.

So Energy Bus took five years to become a success. I did hear that you were actually a hit in Korea. You were like the David Hasselhoff of Korea from what I've found out, which is so funny.

Jon Gordon: [00:18:42] So it came out of bestseller in Korea when it first came out. So it's not an American bookstores, but it becomes this huge hit in South Korea, not North Korea, but South Korea.

And to this day we can't figure out why, but every time I have a book comes out, it gets published right away in South Korea. So if you and I go to South [00:19:00] Korea together, like we need bodyguards because it's really popular there. And for some reason it took off and yeah, so my publisher called me because he's Hey, you're the David Hasselhoff of Korea because you're huge there, but not in America.

Hala Taha: [00:19:12] And people need to realize that like everybody starts at zero. When I started my podcast, I had 50 downloads. My first episode, you had a newsletter, you had five subscribers when you first started, everybody starts from zero and you just build that momentum. So talk to us about once energy bus was a hit and how your life changed and set off the rest of your career.

Jon Gordon: [00:19:33] The money started to flow in, which is a lot better. I know this is about profiting too. And money started to come in, which was nice. And it's funny because we were comfortable with the restaurant business and I looked back and my wife didn't want to let go of what we were making, maybe 250,000 a year off, off the restaurants.

And we, at the time we thought that was a lot, right? And then you start writing and speaking and your book start selling thousands and thousands of copies and you start getting 20 to 30 to $40,000 a talk and you're [00:20:00] making a lot more than that than you did when you were, in the restaurant business.

So you have to leave sometimes when it's safe and then you find your passion, your purpose, and what you're truly meant to do. And then things start to flow. You may not always make money doing what you love. So I'm not saying this is about making money, but usually the fruit comes when you invest in the roots.

And if you're nourishing that root and you're investing in your purpose, your passion and what you're truly meant to do. And what you love eventually we'll will flourish. And so love is what builds greatness. Love is what drives grit. We often talk about grit, right? To be successful, but love drives grit because when you love it, you don't give up.

When you love it, you keep on building. When you love it, you'll continue to do what it takes to be great at it. So love drives greatness. So it's the greatest success principle of all is love it. If you love it, you will continue to build it. And for me, that's what it was about. It was about continuing to build it, to love it, to continue to do this work and then over time, that's success. Comes and then from [00:21:00] there, I was like, okay, what books do I want to write? And I never took huge advances, to be honest, I want to tell people that's another thing that I learned along the way. I found a publisher that was great, the same publisher that did The Energy Bus. They supported my work.

And after that I said, I just want to do the books. I want to write. And when you take less advances, you can take more risks. The publisher will, and they'll let you do what you want to do. And so I had this great partnership to do the books that I wanted to do. I did training camp and then no complaining rule, the shark and the goldfish.

I wrote on the way to California on a flight, which was my lesson that I learned from the.com crash about thriving through waves of change. That book is so appropriate right now for what everyone's dealing with. And it was written way back when, and then The   Carpenter, is my favorite book for entrepreneurs.

The Carpenter is all about building greatness. It's the key success principles to building something great. And I wrote that now I had fear when I wrote that. So I had writer's block for the first time. I never had writer's block before, but I had it this time because the other books were successful. And I was afraid people were gonna judge me [00:22:00] for this work and say, my past work was my best work.

And I was going to write a piece of junk. So I couldn't write that. I woke up one morning with the principle and the idea that love cast out fear, which is is actually a key principle to life. Love casts out fear. If you love it, you won't fear it. So the best way to overcome our fears, to focus on the love that we have for the work that we're doing now with the outside world things, but the love of what you're doing.

So I said, all I have to do is love the reader. I have to love the process of writing. And if you love the process, you will love with the process produces. That made its way into the book that made its way into the story. That book game of wall street journal, bestseller, time magazine, other Inc magazine said it was one of the best business books of the year.

I think it was like a top 10 business book of the year. And that book took off as well as a result of this principle. So I had a struggle in my own way. I wrote the book right after that, like in two weeks after coming out of that sort of writer's block session and focusing on the love. And then I wrote probably people say, it's my best book I've written.

Again, [00:23:00] I've written a number of books since Relationship grit. The Garden is one of my most recent one. The Coffee Bean stick together just came out. I wrote five children's books, but every year I try to write a book at least, and sometimes two, if I get inspired, but I will never write a book just to write a book.

I will only write a book if there's something  that I need to say something that's meant to be said. And if I get the vision and the idea. I'll do it. Otherwise I won't do it one time. I published said, we need a book for you. I said, I'm not writing just to write it has to be inspired. So I've been very diligent to that and making sure that I do it with integrity and a standard.

And I'm thankful people say that my books, my quality are, I haven't gone down in quality. There are some are small, some are illustrated. So they're actually quick reads. I'll have some reviews on Amazon that say  oh, I paid something for this yet. It's meant to be short. It's meant to be a quick 20 minute read.

It's why we designed it that way. And some people may not like that, but the standard is always there.

Hala Taha: [00:23:58] So interesting to me, [00:24:00] because you didn't start off as a writer, you had this like unique path. You didn't start writing until you were 35, you said. And so it came more from like passion and you wanting to help people.

Then you wanting to be an author. From my perspective, at least when I'm listening to your story, it's more that you like, that was just the vehicle that you chose to put all your ideas down on, but it probably could have just been anything. And in 2021, do you feel like becoming an author and doing it this way is still like a great way to go about it.

If you want to get your message out to the world?

Jon Gordon: [00:24:31] I do believe so. I believe right now what you're doing with being a podcast, would you call it a podcaster or a pie? Host a podcast, a show being an influencer like you are, I think your platform of Instagram of being a podcaster of influencing people through ideas and fashion and whatever it may be, that's the way to go.

But at the end of the day, even when you build a podcast platform, people always, eventually still write a book. If you think [00:25:00] about it, you get the podcast platform and then what do they do? They want to buy? They want to write a book. I know a lot of CEOs of companies, owners of big companies, they sell their companies.

They make their billions, what do they want to do after that? They want to write a book. The book is something that transfers throughout society. It is exchange. It is shared, it travels through history through time, through lives, through decades, through people, through countries. And so when you write this book, you're saying, Hey, these are my ideas.

These are my principles. These are my stories. Would you like to read it? And then when people read it, whenever they read it, You may have written the book 20 years ago for them. It's new right now. The Energy Bus is being read by all these young people that it's new for them right now. I wrote it years ago.

How cool is that? That I would write something when I'm 35 comes out when I'm 36 impact people now who are in there teens, twenties, thirties, and they're reading it for the first [00:26:00] time. Now, to me, that's something special with a book. You're not always going to go back and listen to a podcast from 10 years ago.

Although there are some amazing classics, but books you can read and digest and they transform who you are the way you think and give you a perspective. I know that I've been changed by many of the books that I've read, and that's what I hope to do when I write, I always think what kind of legacy am I going to leave with this book?

What message do I want to share with my kids? When I started writing, they were young. So I was like, I want to share everything. I would tell them if I die. So each book was lessons I would share for them. If I died now they're 22 and 20. And so it's a little different, but even now I'm thinking, okay, what books, what messages would I want them to know and teach?

And then. If they were young or if I have grandkids, what do I want to share with them? And so I always try to think along those lines of what kind of impact do I want to have with this book and what kind of message do I want to share?

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LinkedIn learning try one month for free that's LinkedIn learning.com/free month. So like you said, that book came out 14 years ago. Can you talk about some of the principles in terms of the energy bus? What was in there and have things changed now that it's 20, 21.

Now that things are so digital, would you recommend the same advice?

Jon Gordon: [00:28:49] Oh, totally. The only thing that changes, when George gets a flat tire, he has to take the bus to work and he meets the bus driver named Joy, and she didn't cast the characters, teaching the 10 [00:29:00] rules for the ride of your life.

That not only helped me become a better, a person, better father, but also. About being a better leader about getting his team on the bus about moving in the right direction with a shared vision, focus and purpose. So it's about fueling your life, your work, and your team with positive energy. That's why it's so relevant now.

Like it was way ahead of its time when it first came out. Critics, no one really got it. Energy Bus with that. Now it's relevant. Now the only thing I would've changed. But I couldn't have changed it, but George would have probably taken an Uber to work instead of getting out of bed. have to ride the energy Uber, but the principles are oh, universal and timeless.

Like you're the driver of your buses. The first rule you choose the kind of ride it's going to be. And so showing up every day and taking responsibility for your life is king. Loving your passengers. As I said, love is a key strategy. Get to love your passengers and the people around you driving with purpose is essential.

Fueling your ride with positive energy is all about positivity. How can we be more positive? And people really resonate with that. And then [00:30:00] negativity, energy vampires. People love this book because of the energy vampire on no energy vampires allowed. And so you do not allow anyone with their negativity to affect you.

You do not allow them to impact your life to sabotage you and your team. So it gives you a dialogue and an understanding on how to deal with the energy vampires in your life. On your team or in work. And so many leaders, especially by the NFL NBA major league baseball teams have used this book. I worked with a ton of pro and college sports teams.

Cause they really resonate with, Hey, we gotta be a positive team. We can't be negative. And the same rules apply for companies as well. And that's why Brian to speak to so many companies, the result of that, how do we become positive? How do we become higher performing? How do we become a strong team and how can I lead in a more positive way to help us change the world?

So really big on that as well.

Hala Taha: [00:30:53] Yeah. So you were just mentioning negative environments, right? Negative people for me, this is the biggest problem, because for [00:31:00] example, I have some family members that every time they're, like I said, I'm really positive. And there's some people who just have like negative frequencies and every time they talk it's negative, even if it's a great day, they'll talk about their friends, something bad happened to their friend.

And just always go to the negative. And it could get very draining and it oftentimes. The negative environment could be your work, like just the work culture. I've heard you talk about this analogy about a coffee bean and how The Coffee Bean transforms its environment. I thought that was really powerful.

I'd love for you to share that with my listeners.

Jon Gordon: [00:31:29] Yeah. I wrote a book with Damon West called The Coffee Bean, and it's a simple, short read, but it's a powerful story about the carrot, the egg and the coffee bean. You take a carrot, you put it into hot water. What happens to the carrot? It gets softened. It gets weakened by its environment.

You put an egg and you put that in the boiling hot water. What happens to the egg? It gets hardened by its environment. And so often we can become hardened where we become bitter and angry, frustrated, where we just don't care. We don't love, but if you don't love and you don't care, you can't be great. And you [00:32:00] can't build greatness and others.

So you don't want to be the egg. You don't want to be like the carrot where you get weakened and crumble from the inside out. Like I did. During the.com crash. I admit, I crumbled. You want to be like the coffee bean, which is the smallest of all three. You put it into boiling, hot water. We know what happens, even if it's not ground up within an hour, it will transform that water into coffee.

And so the coffee bean. So appropriate for right now is not transformed by its environment, by all the negativity. Instead it impacts the environment that it's in. It influences the environment, it transforms it. And that is our power. That is our charge every day to lead from the inside out, like you are powerful.

The power is inside you to impact the world outside you. And so your positive energy is greater than all the negativity, your certainty, your belief is greater than all the doubt. And so through that purpose and passion and spirit and who you are, you impact the world around you. And that is something we can all do.

And so I wanted that with [00:33:00] my family, impacting my dad along the way. Eventually he learned to not be negative around me. I was going to impact him. So he became more positive around me. I've learned that during COVID right during this time, just being an encourager, sticking to what I'm here to do my mission purpose, continually encourage people.

I did over 280 zoom's virtual, keynotes and podcasts, literally since last March, probably over 300 now, because I've done a bunch of, for the last two months, again, just saying, I'm not gonna allow all of this to get the best of me. I'm going to let it bring out the best in may so I can bring out the best in others.

And it's intentional, right? You have to be intentional with it because if you're not, you will crumble like the carrot, you will get angry and bitter. So you have to make sure. I'm going to be a coffee bean today, and I'm going to impact the people around me.

Hala Taha: [00:33:52] So don't let the environment dictate your feelings and the way you navigate the world, you impact your [00:34:00] environment.

You transform your environment, you make the world a better place.

Jon Gordon: [00:34:03] And sometimes you grew up in a really tough neighborhood. Guess what? You can overcome that neighborhood. You're not defined by that neighborhood. Sometimes you grew up in a difficult family environment where bad things happens. We've all come from really tough environments, but you can rise above that situation. You're not defined by your past or by your circumstance or by the family you were born into. We can overcome and create our future. And that's what we're here to do.

Hala Taha: [00:34:31] Okay. So I want to talk about another book that you wrote called The Garden and in it, you had a story about James Gills.

And he ran six double iron mans when he was 59 years old. And he did that by ignoring his negative self chatter. Instead of listening to himself, he talked to himself. Can you share that story with us?

Jon Gordon: [00:34:50] My favorite advice of all time, he is the only person on the planet to complete six double iron man triathlons.

And he was asked how he did it. He [00:35:00] said, this I've learned to talk to myself instead of listening to myself, he said, I, listen, I hear all the negative, the fear, the doubt, all the reasons why I can't finish this race. But if I talk to myself, I could feed myself with the words and the encouragement that I need to keep on moving forward.

Okay, let's talk about this for a second. So often we have negative thoughts that come in and I ask people all the time when I speak to professional athletes. Hey, do your negative thoughts come from you? There is a again, of course, through my head. Here's my next question. Really? Who would ever choose to have a negative thought?

Would you choose a negative thought? No, I wouldn't. Would you ever choose a thought that sabotages you, we have the imposter syndrome. So many of us, would you choose to have the imposter syndrome? No. So where are those thoughts coming from? They come from consciousness. When you're sleeping, dreaming, having a nightmare.

Are you choosing those dreams? Are you choosing those thoughts? When you're walking down the street, an idea comes to you. Did you choose it or you're in the shower? No. When that negative [00:36:00] thought pops in that says you're not going to make it. He, or she is not going to like you, you're not enough. Those thoughts are not coming from you.

You will never choose them. They come in so fast from consciousness, from a spiritual place and they're in your head. So you think they're from you, you believe it. You reinforce it, you now speak it out loud and then you feel guilt and shame or pessimism for having those thoughts in the first place. The key is just because you have a negative thought doesn't mean you have to believe it don't believe the lies that they tell.

Instead, you want to speak truth to those lies as Dr. James Gills did right? The lie comes in. You're not enough. Yes, I am. You don't have what it takes. I am here to do great things. I always ask people, do you want to be great? Everyone says, yes, I've never had anyone say, I want to be average. Why do we want to be great?

Cause Steve down, we know there's greatness within us. And so we have a desire to do great things, but we have these voices that say we're not great. And that is the battle of the mind. That is what the garden is all about. It's the battle of the [00:37:00] mind every day. Negative thoughts. Speaking truth to those lies, right?

So here's what you do on a piece of paper on the left side of the piece of paper, you write down all your negative thoughts, your negative patterns. We do this in our leadership training right here. So they're getting some leadership training right here on your left side. Write down all your negative thoughts that come to you.

Which ones come to you, right? How long you have yours. I'm not going to ask you to share. I have mine. They always come in, write them down. On the right side, write down the words of encouragement that you would share and speak to yourself when those negative thoughts come in truth. Right? Truth. I am enough.

I am here to do something great. I do have my gifts and I have my talents. There is a plan for me. There is a future for me, whatever it is for you. You write those down and anytime those negative thoughts come in, you start speaking truth. It's going to feel weird at first, right? But you keep doing it over time.

Eventually you will walk in that truth. You will walk in that power. And you will reshape your perspective and the way you think. And this was my journey. I want people to know I was so unworthy when I first started. I want to be honest. I was so that, who am I to be [00:38:00] sharing this? Who am I to be doing this work?

When The Energy Bus came out and I started speaking in front of people I just didn't feel worthy. Like, why should they listen to me? And then I started to say to myself, you are worthy. Like not on your own, but you're worthy. Cause you're here to make a difference. It's not about you. It's about impacting others and your purpose is greater than your challenges.

So focus on your purpose, make a difference. So I would literally talk to myself each time and over time, eventually I started to feel worthy. My purpose started to drive me and I'm like, okay, I am here to do this. And there's a reason for it. And that drew me even more. Do I still get down? Do I still get nervous before it talks?

You bet. I've given over. Several thousand talks. I still get nervous. Sometimes I still look in the crowd and go, oh, that person's yawning over there. Maybe that they're not interested. And I have to remind myself, keep sharing the message, keep doing the work. And so it's this battle that we face every day.

And you have to understand that you are in a battle because these negative thoughts are trying to sabotage you, but you can overcome with this plan, Dr. James Gills gave us the blueprint and I'm just sharing it right here. And it's really powerful when you do it.

[00:39:00] Hala Taha: [00:39:00] That is super powerful. And I want everybody to pay attention because basically what you're saying is don't just listen to your negative thoughts, combat them with positive thoughts that you think of yourself, not just like letting your mind just go like on pilot mode.

You want to actually proactively think of positive things and tell yourself positive things. So James Gills, when he was running these races, his mind was saying I'm old, I'm 59 years old. I shouldn't be doing this race. And then he would tell himself, no, I'm healthy. I'm doing great. I'm in the lead, whatever it was to just help him keep going.

So I think in high stakes situations, guys remember that when you're in a job interview and you have negative thoughts, tell yourself positive things like in these high stakes situations, that's when you need to remember it.

Jon Gordon: [00:39:42] And even do it before the high stake, I really started to practice this because you do build up resilience.

You build up mental strength, mental muscle, the more you do this, it will become more automatic. You will have a go-to. So just like a baseball batter knows his routine, the breath let's go see ball [00:40:00] hit ball, whatever they tell themselves in that moment, you have to have this sort of game plan.

When you approach difficult situations, otherwise you won't be ready for the moment early on. When I had the first big couple of stages, I'll never forget. The moment was too big for me. Now, when I'm in the big stage, I know how to handle the big moment. My wife and I were on the today's show with relationship grit and, I wasn't really even nervous cause I had been there before and I knew how to handle it in that moment.

Right before though, I'm telling you, we're sitting there, we're doing in our home because everything's remote and a thought came in. Wow! Like we're about to be in front of millions of people. If this doesn't go well, this is not going to be good. That's not gay men. It did not come from me. So in that moment, as I.

Just make a difference, impact those couples that are watching let's go. Thankfully, my wife did that and I did. And so we rocked it, but that fear came in initially.

Hala Taha: [00:40:49] So amazing. So the next question that I want to ask, I don't remember where it came from, but I do remember learning from you that anxiety comes from division.

[00:41:00] Anxiety means that you're, there's something that you're divided on. So can you talk to us about that? Because that, to me, I was like, wow, like that's so true. Every time I felt anxious it's because it's there was two decisions and I didn't want to do one of them. So can you talk to us about that?

Jon Gordon: [00:41:14] The word anxious literally means divided at its Greek root word. And so when we are anxious, we feel divided we feel separate. And so the five DS in The Garden are doubt there's distortion, the negative thoughts lies, I talked about distortions of the truth or lies. And so we're dealing with the lies.

That's the second day third D is discouragement. We don't give up because it's hard. We give up as we get discouraged, fourth, the distractions and the 5th D is division or divide. And so that's the spiritual battle we face every day. I do believe it's a battle of good versus evil. I believe that if you watch Star Wars, Harry Potter, every major epic movie Wonder Woman, Black Panther, what are they stories of?

Good versus [00:42:00] evil. And those stories resonate so much with us because that's the narrative of the human existence. It's a narrative of religion in any way. Good versus evil. And we are always in a battle against evil who tries to sabotage us, divide us, separate us Creek division whereas, the spiritual truths want to create oneness, unity, love, and so that is the battle. Every day, you have to understand division am I, do I feel separate, which will cause anxiety or do I feel love and oneness and unity, which creates wholeness and peace. And that's our choice every day.

Hala Taha: [00:42:37] Something that you often bring up and you've said it a bunch of times in this interview is the word love.

Like you talk about this word, love a lot. You have a book called One Word To Change Your Life. And essentially what it is instead of picking a New Year's resolution or a goal, you suggest that you just pick one word and let that be your guiding force for the year. So talk to us about that. I think love was one of your recent [00:43:00] words, right?

Can you talk to us about the words that you've used in the past and why you think this is a good method instead of a New Year's resolution?

Jon Gordon: [00:43:06] And so powerful. If you haven't picked your word yet, pick it right now. It's not too late. And that word should give you meaning and mission, passion, and purpose for you a year.

Pick one word that you can focus on the lens in which you're going to focus on your life that year. And so each year you pick a different word in the years past, like last year, my word was heart connected, serve my wife love the year I picked the word serve because I was serving at home a lot and she loved that.

And so each year you pick this word, that's better for you. I don't really pick it to be honest. I am open and around. Christmas, New Year's it always comes because I always pick my word for the new year and I encourage everyone to do it. You pick a word and then find a way to, to write it down or keep it front and center.

So it reminds you to live that word for the year. Do with your family, do what your friends really powerful New Year's resolutions don't last. We pretty much give up the habits by the end of [00:44:00] January. But one word sticks. One word allows you to focus. And we now have millions of people doing one word around the world.

Actually, it's been a lot of fun to see all the stories, all the amazing teams that do it together, and the stories of how people chose their word and how it really impacted them in the course of the year. I know I'm different because of the words that I have picked throughout my life still was a word I picked one year to find more stillness, connected, surrender. Purpose was my first word I ever chose. And that drove me to live with more purpose.

Hala Taha: [00:44:34] It's so powerful, like this is, it's just an easy tip, but just having one word that you let guide you, I'm going to have abundance, be my word, I think this year. And although it's already March, because of COVID it feels like January.

So I think I'm okay.

Jon Gordon: [00:44:48] I love that. It's a great word. Abundance, because so many people have a scarcity mindset. And so having that abundance mindset is so important now more than ever.

Hala Taha: [00:44:57] Yeah, completely. Okay. So I want to [00:45:00] close this out to respect your time. My last question is going to be about relationships and it's going to be about your wife because you've been together with your wife for quite a long time.

And I know that you invest a lot in your relationship. How do you guys keep things strong? And how do you make sure that over the years, you guys still have a romance and a great relationship as you guys get older and your kids get older and things like that.

Jon Gordon: [00:45:24] Yeah, we've been married now 23 years.

So she almost left me way back when, and now 23 years later, and we have a really strong relationship. We wrote this book, Relationship Grit came out during the pandemic. We wrote it having no idea that a pandemic was coming. Also wrote the Gordon before the pandemic from December 25th to January 8th, right before the pandemic was coming, having no idea.

And it's about overcoming fear, stress and anxiety, which is wild. And so wrote these two books would have backed it back and. We wanted couples to stick together through tough times, because that's something that we did. It's not always going to be fun. Sometimes you [00:46:00] are going to fight. We have fought a lot over the years, but our four C's are essential to building a great relationship.

And they're in the book and it's communicate. You gotta make time to communicate because if you don't negativity will feel the void. So find time to communicate , even if you've both busy, you're both working, you got the kids, you got to make time to communicate. Catherine would always make sure that I sat down and communicated because I wasn't a great communicator and she would make me communicate connect, got to take time to connect.

We got home. And just even yesterday, my wife said, I just don't really feel connected. You've been, I went to this thing with Jay Glazer the other day with MVP, and I was seeing the, some other friends and really busy doing a lot of things. And we didn't really have time to connect. And so last night we took a walk and we walked for an hour and we just talked while we walked, we came back right away in deeper connection. So that's essential to make time to connect. My wife will also tell you, and she wrote about this in the book. It's important to have physical intimacy and connection. I would say. That's a big part our success [00:47:00] as well. Like my wife is someone that is open about that and she's, always telling her friends like your husband's unhappy he's he sorta angrys.

Cause he, you need to have sex with him. She'll tell him that. And it, her friends friend's that's it. She's like I'm telling you, that's why he feels neglected. Sure enough. She'll do that and they feel more connected. I'm not saying that will is a cure all there's a lot of issues. Don't be a jerk guys.

You gotta be nice. You gotta be loving it to be kind. Maybe your wife doesn't want to have sex with you because you're a jerk, but that goes back to communication connection, and then connect at a deeper level. When you connect, you produce oxytocin, which is actually a love chemical that actually binds you together.

And so in a safe relationship, a loving relationship, it's essential to have that as part of the relationship. And my wife on the today show said, flirt in the kitchen. She told ladies the flirt in the kitchen. She was like, if it gets boring, you're in quarantine, make it exciting. Don't expect it to always be exciting, make it exciting.

Go on date nights, find times to flirt. When I'm on the [00:48:00] road speaking before COVID, my wife would send me these texts. I can't wait for you to get home. I'm so excited to see you. That made me excited to see her. So that was important to flirt. And to, I always say I'm married to my mistress. Like I don't have a mission because my wife's one in the same, so that's great.

So that connection is important.  Commitment. It's not always going to be your way. You're not always going to get what you want. You have to serve and sacrifice to build a great relationship. It's about we before me put the other person first. So you have to find ways to commit to their person. It's not about don't keep score.

When you keep scoring relationship, you will both lose. So it's not about keeping score. Cause one time she's going to do it more than you. A lot of times, other times you're going to do more than her. Do not keep score. It's a give and take and you both have to commit to the relationship and to each other, like we're going to stick together.

We're going to commit to this. We're going to work at it. We're going to invest in it because if you don't invest in it, you're not going to have a good relationship. So you've got to do that. And then finally care. You got to make time [00:49:00] to show that you care. And sometimes it's the small things that mean the most Hey, can you look at this for a second, honey?

Hey, can I show you this? How I want to tell you about this? How many times I need the groceries brought in. I'm too busy. I can't help you there. I don't have time for this. And what if we do that? And we're not taking the time for those small sacrifices, the research shows it's more likely your relationship will not do well.

Couples that actually make these small sacrifices, 85% more likely to stick together. If you do these small little sacrifices to serve each other, to be there for each other, to show that you care.

Hala Taha: [00:49:37] Amazing. I'm so glad you went through those tips because honestly I'm seeing my friends getting divorced, left and right.

Having breakups left and right. Because of COVID. So I think everybody needed that advice. The last question that I ask all my guests is what is your secret to profiting in life?

Jon Gordon: [00:49:53] Real quick on the relationship group, he's we do have a free action plan. So we did this because we want couples to do it.

So I don't want people to get [00:50:00] divorced. Just before we've saved three marriages so far that we know of, we got an emails from that. They read this book and they are sticking together. One guy just sent me a picture of his family on vacation after they stopped the divorce papers. So they worked at it and they're on vacation with the family.

It was like the best feeling in the world to see this, do the action plans stay together. All right. Sorry. I had to say that verb because  the actual together because we're seeing a lot of people get divorced too. They're not making it through quarantine because if you add a little small gap, In your relationship and some issues quarantined made that gap a canyon, if you never strong relationship.

So you either became more during that time together, or you became a less, the gap got wider or a got closer together. And so if it's wider, it's okay. You can still bring it back closer together, stay together. All right. The last question my secret to profiting is I would say it's the message from the carpenter.

Three words, love, serve, and care. I always say don't focus on building your business. [00:51:00] Focus on loving, serving, and caring, and your business will exponentially grow. And if you invest in the love for your customers, for people, your staff, your team, if you serve others, it's about helping them grow. It's not about you, you coach them, you guide them, you mentor them, you make it simple and clear for them.

Guide them along the way. People want three things from you and your business. Three things make it clear and simple for me. Coach me through the process and give me the confidence. I'm making the right decision. This was from a client who spent millions of dollars in market research to figure out what their customers wanted.

And once they told me this at this big event, I was speaking at, I said, this is the same thing every customer wants. So make sure you're serving your customers, serving others. And we talked about showing that you care when you know, someone cares about you. You want to do business with them, you refer them and tell everyone.

So for me, it's been, I do really care about people. I love what I do, and I am here to serve. I am here to serve as a result of that my business has [00:52:00] continues to grow exponentially, but it's not all smooth rides. You have to also stay positive, overcome the negativity along the way with optimism and belief, but ultimately the love serving care.

That drives you to do what you do, and then you get the fruits of that by investing in the root.

Hala Taha: [00:52:17] Love, serve, and care. I love that. That is amazing advice. Thank you so much, Jon. This was such a great conversation. I had so much fun. Where can our listeners learn more about you and everything that you do?

Jon Gordon: [00:52:29] Thanks for  having me, I really feel honored to share this and just love reaching all of your young and profiting people. You go to jongordon.com. jongordon.com. Twitter Instagram at Jon Gordon 11. I would love for people to share with me, like one thing they got from this podcast, or what's their word. If you picked a word, I'd love to know the word that you picked and why you chose it.

But again, how long you were amazing. And thanks for having me.

Hala Taha: [00:52:53] Amazing. And I love that call to action. Everybody picked their word it's March, but if sorry, it's April, but it feels like January. [00:53:00] So see, I don't even know what month it is. It's April, but it feels like January. So let's pick our word. Thank you so much, Jon.

This was awesome.

Jon Gordon: [00:53:06] Thank you so much.

Hala Taha: [00:53:08] Thanks for listening to young and profiting podcast. If you're a new listener, make sure you subscribe to this podcast. So you never miss an episode. Jon was absolutely amazing. Don't you guys think for me, the most memorable part of this episode was when Jon mentioned that we need to be like a coffee bean.

When you drop a carrot egg and a coffee bean into a boiling pot of water, they all face the same adversity, boiling water, but each of them reacts differently. The carrot goes in, strong, hard unrelenting. And then once it's subjugated to boiling water, it softens and becomes weak. The egg is fragile to begin with.

It has an outer shell and it protects its liquid interior. But once it goes through the boiling water, it becomes hard and stiff. The coffee beans are different. Once they hit the boiling water, they change the water. When adversity knocks on your door, how do you [00:54:00] respond? Are you carrot and egg or a coffee bean?

Are you the carrot that seems strong, but then once pain and adversity hits you will to become soft and you lose your strengths, or are you like an egg where you're fragile? You have a fluid spirit, but if death or a breakup or financial hardship occurs, do you become hardened and stiff or are you like a coffee bean where you actually change the hot water?

The very circumstance that brings you pain? When the water gets hot, these coffee beans they released fragrance. They release flavor. They get better. They make the water better. If you're like a bean, when things are at their worst, you actually get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and the trials are the greatest.

Do you elevate to the next level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? I personally know that I'm a coffee bean. And if you guys know my story from 2020, it's. obvious that I'm a coffee bean and I'll always strive to be a coffee bean for the rest of my life. And I bet a [00:55:00] lot of my young and profits feel the same.

If you liked this episode and want to learn more from another incredibly smart best-selling author, I encourage you to listen to my interview number 33, shoot your Loonshot with Safi Bahcall. It's actually one of my favorite episodes. Here's the clip from that episode.

Safi Bahcall: [00:55:18] What you want to do whenever you have a situation that there's some fair amount of uncertainty and you don't really know, for example, should I do X or should I do Y?

 Should I do Z with my life? Absolutely. In those situation. What you want to do is plant a bunch of small seeds, spread your bets, make a bunch of little bets. So do a little bit of X, find ways where you can do a little of act, a little of Y a little of Z. You plant those seeds, you don't plant one seed and then dump a ton of water on it.

And hope it grows. You plant a bunch of little seeds, water them all equally, and it will become clear to you. Over time and [00:56:00] probably quite quickly, which one works for you? If I think I tried, let's say when I left my company, I planted a bunch of seeds while I was talking to a couple of companies about this sort of advising thing, talking about some investors about this sort of investing thing, and then doing a little bit of writing and I planted a bunch of seeds.

And then within months it became clear to me. I just enjoyed this one particular seed that flower was growing faster and bigger and more beautiful than all the other ones. And that's when you know oh, I got it. So you absolutely want to get your feet wet. You want to get a little bit of experience in a few things because. They won't all work out and nothing is exactly the same. You just don't have any data points. You don't know what it's going to be like until you try it. And what you'd want to do is gather those data points so that you can make a better decision in a few months, or whenever it is.

Hala Taha: [00:56:53] Again, that's number 33.

Shoot your loonshot with   Safi Bahcall. As always, I'm going to shout out a recent [00:57:00] apple podcast review to close out the show. Podcast reviews are the number one way to thank us. Please drop your review on Castbox Podbean, Podcast Republic, or wherever you listen to this podcast.

This week, shout out, goes to voices of change the podcast for everyone. Don't let the title fool you young is relative. All of us are young in some areas. Hala has a unique talent for teaching us and inspiring us, regardless of what age we are, her wisdom and ability to draw the best out of others inspires me each time I hear her talk with anyone. Subscribe learn love. I completely agree.

Young and profiting podcast is for all ages. In fact, one of my biggest regrets is calling it younger profiting podcasts, because I think it turns off a lot of older listeners. And a lot of my super fans are actually over 50 years old. I would love to hear from our listeners of all ages, especially if you're over 40 drop us a review.

Let me know how you're liking young and profiting podcast. If you found value [00:58:00] in today's show, make sure to leave us a review on apple podcasts or wherever you listen to this show. It's a very effective way to support us. It is the number one way to thank this team. You can also show your support by sharing this podcast with your friends, family, and on LinkedIn or Instagram.

You can find me on Instagram at Yap with Hala or LinkedIn, just search for my name. It's Hala Taha, and now I'm on clubhouse and I'm hosting rooms there every single day. You can follow me at Hala Taha. And I'm also hosting a lot of live episodes on clubhouse and they've been amazing. I absolutely love those episodes.

Big, thanks to the YAP team as always. This is Hala signing off.