#117: Let Go To Grow with Trent Shelton

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Your listening to YAP Young And Profiting Podcast, a place where you can listen, learn, and profit. Welcome to the show. I'm your host, Hala Taha. And on Young And Profiting Podcast, we investigate a new topic each week and interview some of the brightest minds in the world. My goal is to turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your everyday life.

No matter your age, profession, or industry, there's no fluff on this podcast and that's on purpose. I'm here to uncover value from my guests by doing the proper research and asking the right questions. If you're new to the show, we've chatted with the likes of ex FBI agents, real estate moguls, [00:02:00] self-made billionaires, CEOs, and best-selling authors.

Our subject matter ranges from enhancing productivity, how to gain influence, the art of entrepreneurship, and more. If you're smart and like to continually improve yourself, hit the subscribe button because you'll love it here at Young And Profiting podcast. This week on YAP, we're chatting with Trent Shelton, former NFL player, author, and speaker. Trent is considered one of the most groundbreaking motivational speakers of our era.

And he's touched millions with his words of self-worth, self love, and recognizing your greatness. After a rocky short-lived stint in the NFL, Trent had an opportunity to speak at a church. It was his first speaking experience and his world changed forever. He had a sensational performance and it was undeniable to the audience.

And to Trent, that he finally found his true purpose to inspire others to live better lives. He started creating YouTube videos with his words of wisdoms and created the tagline it's rehab time, [00:03:00] which went viral before he knew it. Trent was speaking across the globe and packing arenas from New York to London, to Fiji and reaching over 50 million people across his social channels.

And today's episode, we discuss Trent's time in the NFL, what it was like pivoting to something completely new and how he was mentally able to let go of a failed dream. We also discussed how it can get lonely at the top when to walk away from relationships and we go deep on some timely social justice issues of today.

Hey, Trent! Welcome to Young And Profiting podcast. So excited to talk to you today.

Trent Shelton: [00:03:34] Hey Hala! Thanks for having me. And I'll give them an opportunity by sharing your platform. I appreciate you.

Hala Taha: [00:03:39] Of course. So you have had a really cool journey. You started your career off in the NFL and now you're an author, you're bestselling author.

You're a speaker, you're a podcast host. You do so many cool things in terms of motivating and inspiring other people. But I want to talk about your journey in the NFL because essentially your [00:04:00] identity was based around football, your whole entire young life. And then you finally achieved this huge milestone being in the NFL.

What was that like? Was it everything that you had hoped for and what was that like actually achieving that milestone and then help us understand what that experience was like overall for you.

Trent Shelton: [00:04:18] Absolutely. It definitely felt great achieving it. It's been a, it was a childhood dream since I was, I can remember I had two older brothers, so I always tell people, like I probably came on my mom's wound wanting to play sports, just chasing after them.

And so making it there was great, because it's just like you dream of it and you see it on TV and to actually, make that dream a reality is super cool. But just to be straight up with you, it was a dream coming true. It ended up turning into a nightmare real quick because yes, it was everything I thought it would be.

But at the same time, it wasn't, it's, it became more of a business and you'll hear athletes talk about this a lot. When you start with Peewee football, you just having fun in high school and then college, then politics start to get more into it. And then it [00:05:00] becomes more of a business.

It is your job. It's basically your nine to five and it took for me, at least the fun out of it. Then obviously my journey of going from team to team getting cut eight or nine times, not knowing if one day I'm going to be in a certain city. I might not be in that city the next day.

It was very tough. As far as finding security and who I was, and actually just knowing my worth, that was probably the first time in my life where. I really questioned just who I was as a person.

Hala Taha: [00:05:27] Yeah. Because you had been so good at sports and everybody had expected that you were going to be this breakout NFL player and you got there.

And I think you've got cut like 11 times. So it was lots of ups and downs. So how did it feel in terms of like your friends and your family and everybody who was always I'm sure, because you weren't in the NFL. Everybody was always like, oh, Trent, my cousins in the NFL and made everybody feel really proud.

So was that really hard for you?

Trent Shelton: [00:05:53] Absolutely. It was hard because my identity was that, I was Trent, not the [00:06:00] human being. I was Trent Shelton in the football player. I was Trent Shelton, the cousin that played at Baylor or with the coats or with Seattle. And, it's no shade to anybody because obviously they're just proud of the accomplishments that I made, but I started to wrap my life around that.

And it was just this thought that a lot of athletes deal with. It's okay, This is my everything. And if I lose this, who would I be without it? Who would I be without that title? And once I started to lose that title for my name, I started to find a lot of depression. I started to find a lot of hard times because I felt as if I had nothing more to my life, because that was my, everything.

Since I was four or five years old.

Hala Taha: [00:06:34] I can really relate to that. When I was in college, I worked at hot 97 and I was Angie Martinez as assistant and I dropped out of school for it. And I worked there for three years and then they fired me after three years of dedicating my life. And same thing.

Like I felt like I was, everybody knew me as Hala from hot 97, Hala that was hanging out with all the celebs and I had the coolest life. And then that was torn away from me. And it's so hard when you tie [00:07:00] yourself to something and not like what's inside of you, like you tie yourself to a brand, like I tied myself to hot 97, you tied yourself to the NFL.

So I want to talk about this depression piece that you're were talking about. You have a really famous phrase called a suppression leads to depression or something along those lines that I've heard you say multiple times, explain that because I think you isolated yourself from your family due to some embarrassment and things like that.

Explain to us how that led to depression and how you got out of it too.

Trent Shelton: [00:07:29] Absolutely. So Megan cut during the fall. It was pretty tough because, I live in Fort Worth, Texas and we know the statistics of people making this in NFL point zeros or whatever. And especially in your city, it's not many people and everybody knows you.

And so with me being back home in September, I couldn't go out because if I'm out, then people are going to ask me questions. Like, why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be in any don't you have a game today. And so I started to keep myself sheltered in my room and my parents' house, because I didn't want to face that reality.

[00:08:00] Often say this, I was running from the war in my life, trying to win certain battles and it doesn't work like that are trying to win the war running from my battles in my life. What I've learned is that anything that you don't face. We'll end up, really hunting you and finding you reality.

Doesn't change, just stays there and waits for you to come back or it chases you down. So I became quiet. I became introverted. I didn't get my pain, a voice. And what you suppress, just like anything. If you keep something, if you feel something up and you just never let it out, you have no releases in your life.

Then over time, what happens is that you explode and for myself, that's what was happening. I wasn't exploding in public, but internally I was thinking about suicidal thoughts. I was questioning my faith and all these things. So I tell people all the time and when you're going through hard moments, it's okay to not be okay.

But it's not okay to stay that way. And you say you need to find an outlet, find somebody that you can relate to, because this is the thing to highlight. We often think that our pain is special and I'm not [00:09:00] undermining anybody's pain out there, but there's somebody in the world that's been through what you've been through or been through worse.

And as long as you keep it silent, you will feel like this pain is unique to you and you feel like there's no answers the only person going through it. But as soon as I opened my mouth up and opened my voice and asked for the magic word help, I started to realize that there were other people who've been through what I was going through and gave me the guidance to be able to get through it.

I'm a big believer in not suppressing anything, because if you suppress it, it doesn't go away. You just got to sleep with those things and those thoughts end up hunting you.

Hala Taha: [00:09:27] So you ended up talking to someone you asked for help. I know you have a new book, a recent book called Straight Up, and you talk about a story of how you almost drowned when you were younger.

Can you tell us that story and how it relates to asking for help?

Trent Shelton: [00:09:43] Yeah, for sure. So it was about. Maybe nine years ago, eight years ago. And I was doing a mud run and I don't know if you're familiar with those, but like the Spartan races and all that. So I was doing that and it's kinda make this story short.

I was the mower and I ran before I didn't prepare for it. And I was like, [00:10:00] I'm an athlete. I'm going to crush this. And I was actually a personal trainer at that time. So I had a group of people I ended up getting in last place. And so my pride was like, man, so the next race, I was like, I'm going to train for him and go all out.

So I do it and give everything that I have. And so at the end of this race, they had a we had to climb up this wall and they had a zip line. And I wasn't thinking about how deep the water is, how tired I was, how far the swim was, how cold the water was. So I ended up zip lining  on and I dropped into the water.

And soon as I hit the water, I knew I was in trouble because my body went in shock. Like I got a full body cramp on. Have you ever had one of those before, but I couldn't move. I couldn't swim. And I knew I was in trouble. But I'm a man, like I'm an ass I can't ask for help. I can't be the person out here that's like drowning.

And so my first few helps were like the first one was silent. It was like, okay, you were going to see me, nobody saw me. The second layer help was like, I'm just going to call like in a cool way, like help, raise my hand, try as much as I [00:11:00] could that didn't get the response. And so I literally got to a place where I was like, screaming, like help help as much as I could, as I was going under the water back on top of the water.

And I guess obviously I'm alive. So I guess that's a spoiler. But somebody jumped in that wasn't even supposed to even jump in and they helped me and they got me out. But how relate that  to life is a lot of people are drowning in their life. But at the end of the day, nobody will save you unless you save yourself.

Or so what I mean by that is yes, people will help you get out the water. But if you never call for help, but you don't even try to help yourself, then nobody's going to come to your rescue more than likely. And so that's what that taught me in life is like, Hey, do the necessary things to keep fighting, but also raise your hand and say, Hey man, I need help with this.

And usually help will be there at some point.

Hala Taha: [00:11:51] I think that's a really powerful lesson. And I know that you lost your college roommate to suicide, and unfortunately he didn't raise his hand to [00:12:00] ask for help. So when it comes to those types of situations, when you don't necessarily know who in your life is struggling, as hard as they're struggling, like what are the warning signs that people give off when it comes to struggling with their mental health and how can we help other people get the help that they need if we're worried about them?

 

Trent Shelton: [00:12:21] Yeah, that's a great question. So the best way I can tell you when it comes to people is patterns and who they are personality wise. So if you have a person that's an extroverted person. And then all of a sudden they're super introverted. You have a person that's always around and they stopped coming around.

You have a person that just feeling your heart. I don't know how to explain this, but when you get around somebody and there's plenty of people that I've came across and people, even with me going through my struggles man, I just feel like it's on my heart, that something, something you're struggling with, don't ignore that voice.

Because even with my friend that committed suicide, I've saw signs, as I think back I'm like, man, I saw a sign there, but I [00:13:00] ignored it. I saw a sign there, but I ignored it. And so I would just tell people like, as somebody in your life and just that personality, who they are when you start to see changes, especially even the slightest change, but dramatic changes.

There's something going on there. And the best way from that I would tell people to help other people is just. Ask them certain questions or matter of fact, go and ask them if they're okay, because more people are going to be like I'm alright, even when they're not. Take that person, maybe take them for a hike, take them for a walk.

Maybe take them if it's a faith thing, take them to church, have that conversation open up about your life. Because the people that helped me the most weren't the people that necessarily were like giving me advice. It was the people that opened up about their struggle that made me comfortable to open up about mine.

And so I do that often. If I see somebody like, Hey man, you know what? I'm dealing with this in my life right now. And that opens up the playing field to be like, okay, I'm not being judged. It's a safe space for me to share what's going on in my life too.

Hala Taha: [00:13:58] I think that's really excellent advice. [00:14:00] So let's take it back to when you were cut from the NFL, I guess for the last time, like, how did you know it was the last time did you throw in the towel or was there no other option?

Did you decide it was over for football?

Trent Shelton: [00:14:15] A little bit of both. So the NFL, you probably get three years to prove yourself when you're trying to make a team. And I was on my third year and I got cut from the Redskins the way I was cut, it wasn't like, you're not good enough. It was more like, Hey, stay up here for a little while we have to bring another guy on because somebody got hurt.

We're going to bring you back. We really like you. And then a three weeks came around and he was like, Hey, we changed our mind. It's a numbers game. And so after that, I continued to try to pursue to play football. And there was this league called the UFL. They have some minor leads now, XFL all of these different leads.

And I made that team and I was like, okay, cool. This is going to be my entry back into NFL. It's like a base, like the minor leagues for major league for football. And I [00:15:00] made the team and within the next month, the whole league folded and went out. So at that moment I was like, okay, I went to arena football.

I was okay, I'm gonna stay with arena. And I'm but at that time in my life, do I think I could have made it back and had a chance probably but I didn't love it anymore. And I realized that I wasn't hanging on to football because I loved it. I was hanging on because I was afraid who I would be without it.

And once I made that decision in my life to let it go, obviously my life changed forever, but once I knew in my heart that I didn't love it no more. I knew that it was time for me to move on from it.

Hala Taha: [00:15:34] I think that is so powerful. And I know that you often say a phrase that goes like you are your purpose, right?

Not that you have a purpose, you are your purpose. So I thought that was so deep. And honestly I resonated that without a lot. So what is your purpose? And then how did you discover that purpose?

Trent Shelton: [00:15:55] Yeah, that's a great question. So I have a different spin when it comes to purpose, because that's the question [00:16:00] that I get all the time in my book, The Greatest You, was actually a chapter that I rewrote the last chapter I rewrote cause I was like, man, I have a different perspective towards it.

So always say I am purpose. And the reason I say that is because I want to use the word mistake. That's the word that comes up. The mistake that we make sometimes is that we tie our purpose to things that really aren't our purpose. So for example, I taught my purpose to football. Do I believe purpose football was my purpose at that time in my life, but I lost it.

And so when I lost football, I felt like I lost my purpose. Purpose is something that I don't believe that you lose. Purpose isn't an external thing. I believe purpose is an internal gift. I believe purpose is who you are. You were born on purpose for a purpose and you were set apart. And so when you have that mindset, you realize that I can take my life anywhere, and use my life for good.

I believe that purpose that we're all created is to bring betterment to this world. And so what a lot of people chase is placements. The NFL was my placement, not my [00:17:00] purpose rehab time now. And me being a speaker is my placement is not my purpose. I might have a different placement down the line and I don't want to get too in, cause we'll talk forever about this, but there's a few things that people tie that purpose to, that they make a mistake in.

And I'll just talk about a few. One, people tie their purpose to profit. And they feel like, oh, if I'm not making enough money, this couldn't be my purpose. They tie their purpose to position. Oh, if I don't have the CEO title, if I'm not high up on my company, this couldn't be my purpose. Are they tied to the prize?

If I'm not getting recognition towards this, then this couldn't be my purpose. And I always like to tell people, man, your purpose is not tied to those things. Your purpose is tied to these things, your past, the things that you've been through qualifies you to be able to help people get through other things.

And another thing that, that I feel like purpose is tied into for people searching for it is problems. What problems are you passionate about solving in this world? And so the more you can tap into [00:18:00] those things, the more I feel like you can use your life more effectively to be able to leave your quote unquote purpose and find the right placements in your life for your lights to be used most effectively.

Hala Taha: [00:18:09] Yeah. And I think that once you find once you solve problems and you're passionate about it, the profit will come like that will always come down the line. Once those things are aligned. So totally agree with you there. So let's talk about how you ended up becoming a speaker, because from my understanding you are an introvert, you don't seem like it at all.

For you guys who don't know Trent. He's got over 600,000 followers on YouTube. He's got 2 million followers on Instagram. He's up there on stages with, I think Tony Robbins and Dean Grasiozi and folks like that. And so he is out there and you would never know that he's an introvert. So Trent, first of all, how did you get over being an introvert and how did you get your foot in the door with speaking?

Trent Shelton: [00:18:51] I always preface this because to let people know I'm an introvert because I'm enlisted. Maybe I'm an ambivert. I think that's like the middle. You could be both. I'm not [00:19:00] shy. So I tell people don't confuse introvert with being shy. I'm just a really, I'm a person that's quiet, a deep thinker, but

my dad. He always, even to this day, my dad trips out. My dad literally tells people like if I was a betting man, I would definitely bet that Trent will be the least person to be a speaker out my three boys. And it's so funny because my parents would hear me speak. They'd be like, man, is this trip.

So how I became a speaker and I don't want this story to take forever, but I got invited to speak at it.

Hala Taha: [00:19:29] Take your time. We want to learn from you Trent.

Trent Shelton: [00:19:31] Okay, cool. I got invited to speak at an event, so I've always been, I love music. So I rapped, you can call it entertainer, whatever it may be. I've always loved music.

I always love to speak on things that I was passionate about. And so my friend his name was Jonathan Evans that's a big church in Dallas, Dr. Tony Evans, Oakland Bible fellowship. They had this youth event it's called the kg event. It's like maybe two, 3000 kids. It seemed 20,000 to me. And he asked me to speak [00:20:00] and I'm like, bro, like I can rap.

For you or something like that, but I'm not being a speaker. And he was like, Trent, he was like, I've talked to you in private. I'm around you and his whole family, his family. I mean his family, his sisters and brothers, they're all phenomenal. Either artists or speakers. He's man, I'm around it all the time.

You have a gift. He's I see some inside of you. You don't see in yourself. And at that time I was like, man, I hope you see me again, science in NFL or something like that not this. We go back and forth and to fast forward this story. I'm like okay, I agreed to it. And I have five minutes at that time seemed like five hours to me.

And the whole night before, I'll never, ever been like this where I like prep my whole speech. I knew it. I knew my talking points memorized at every I'm gonna kill it. So I get out there. I grabbed the microphone. I know it happened like stage fright. I forget everything. And all I see is a bunch of

[00:21:00] teenagers. And I know those teenagers, cause I was that guy looking at me like, what is this dude going to talk about? And why is he up here? Just being quiet. At that moment, I said these words, I still say these words, even before I got on this interview, I said, God use me. And I always say, you can sink or you can swim.

That's my trigger word. That has me move into my confidence and my courage. I'll open my mouth when I speak for those five minutes after I get off the stage McGee, which is John, he says, bro, he was like, this is your gift. And all these kids come up to me after. And I was actually supposed to go to arena football the next day, by the way.

But I called my coach. I said, I'm not going. And that was the moment where I realized that this was what I was called to do. This was my placement at this time in my life. And I want to be clear with people. I didn't have a big following all on him. Maybe 15, [00:22:00] 10 people are watching my videos. I just started rehab time.

I wasn't the person that the world sees today, but I walked into it and it changed my life forever. Literally within the next six months, videos started to go viral and this whole rehab time thing started happening. And it started with me walking into my biggest fear, which was public speaking, which is, the number one fear in the world.

Hala Taha: [00:22:24] That's so incredible. It's so incredible how you weren't naturally good at that. And you stepped into your power and realize that you just want to help people. And that kind of gave you the motivation and the confidence to actually go out and do it. And you left behind like years and years of work.

And so I want to dig deeper on that because you spent your whole life preparing to be a football player and it must have been very difficult to then just turn around and change careers. And I'm sure there's lots of people who, they may have gone to school for years and years to become a doctor and then change their [00:23:00] mind.

And it's such a difficult decision. So how did you like make that decision in your head to just pivot? And do you have any regrets that you focus so much on football in your younger life? Or do you feel like that helps you now? What you learned?

Trent Shelton: [00:23:17] I believe. I think everything is building you for your next level, if you allow it to.

So the thing that I tell athletes is, man, there's no better. I feel avenue that builds confidence, perseverance, emotional resilience in sports that builds teamwork. And if you think that you're losing something, you will never focus on everything that it gave you and the gangs that you have. So like for me as a speaker, you see the athlete come out, that you see the there's no, I tell people, all the people, are you scared to speak in front of people?

I was like, yeah, but now what's pressure is third down in front of a hundred thousand people and you've got to catch it, the ball, everybody's depending on you. So it prepared me for these pressure moments when I look back. And so the thing I would [00:24:00] tell people is just think about that. How is those losses, quote, unquote, how did those things really build you for your next level?

What can you take from that? It might be a relationship that you lost. What can you take for that to make you better for your next relationship or your next job? Et cetera. And how I made the decision? It's funny because I may like a pack, like what God. I was like, man, I'm a call three people, three sets of people and you got to go three for three.

It was over three, pretty much. I called my coach. He didn't understand it. I called my friends. They didn't understand it. And then I called my mother and she didn't understand it at first until I told her mom I'd never felt so I remember like it was yesterday. I said, I never felt so much confidence in the midst of my fear ever.

And I was like, it's just the feeling, mom that I know this is it. I can't explain it. But I know this is it. Especially when I don't even know sometimes where the words come from and when I'm speaking. And she said, [00:25:00] baby, that is a calling on your life that I've already seen when you were younger. And that's even, I can go back to that because ever since I was four and five, I, my brother's youngest son.

So I was the one going her everywhere to conferences, to crusade. She was big in her faith and it would be people that would always speak over my life and say, you're going to be a great speaker. My dad's a pastor. You're going to be a great this or a great that. But I was ignoring that call because I was so focused on what I wanted to do, that I didn't care about what I was called to do.

So I kept sending it to voicemail. Nah, I ain't ready for it. I'm not a speaker. I'm an introvert. My past is too bad. All those things, I was talking to myself out of it, like so many of us do. And by me finally answering the call because my mother said those words, it changed my life forever.

So I just wanted to tell the listeners, you probably have had call-ins on your life that you've been allowing your insecurities, your fears or doubts to make you send that call to voicemail. And what [00:26:00] happens is there comes a point, I believe, where the calling stops calling and that calling finds life in someone else.

So answer it, even if you're like, you're not prepared for it, answer it because the journey will always reveal what you need. Once you take that first step.

Hala Taha: [00:26:16] That's really inspiring. Okay. So you start rehab time and I guess you started at all, really with this YouTube channel. And so when did you, first of all, were your friends and families, naysaying this?

Where were they saying? It's not really possible, like you're never going to get any traction or were people supportive of you when you started?

Trent Shelton: [00:26:38] So my family was supportive of me for sure. My family, I have a close family and I can send a family blood and just people that are really tight with me.

They didn't understand it, but they still supported it. And then I had the people that were like, you're crazy. What are you doing? You're not going to be nothing without football and not know is that those exact words, but those seeds were being planted in my life when I first started.

[00:27:00] So  nobody really got it. But I just talked about this today. God gave you division. You can't expect other people to see it or get it. If it's in your heart, you can't expect other people to see that and feel that. And so they got it once, once it started gaining traction.

Hala Taha: [00:27:18] This episode of YAP is sponsored by Olay Body.

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fearless in my skin. This episode of YAP is sponsored by Better Help. Is something preventing you from being truly happy? Are you unable to focus and achieve your goals? Guys nobody perfect. We're all a work in progress and in different phases of our lives. There's definitely been times in my life where I really needed to talk to someone to help me get through a rough patch, but I didn't because it's not easy to ask for help, especially if you're in over achiever.

And this episode, me and Trent discussed him almost drowning because he was too proud to ask for help. I only recently started going to therapy after my dad passed away last year. But looking back, I wish I had started talking to someone [00:30:00] sooner don't ignore your mental health, learn from our mistakes.

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They can match you with a professional that fits your needs. And if for some reason you're not vibing with your therapist, you can switch counselors at any time. I want everybody out there to start living a happier life [00:31:00] today. As a listener of Young And Profiting Podcast, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our [email protected]/yap.

That's betterhelp.com/yap. Join over 1 million people have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's better help H E L P.com/yap. So let's talk about our inner circle. So I've had success with Young And Profiting podcasts. Like for example, like I landed the cover of podcast magazine, January 2021.

Trent Shelton: [00:31:29] Congratulations by the way.

Hala Taha: [00:31:30] Thank you. Thank you. If you talk to my best friends, they act like I'm a nobody like, you know what I mean? Like my best friends that I've been close with throughout my whole, since high school to now, I see them like every weekend, whatever. When I talk about my podcast, I feel like they roll their eyes.

I know they're not going to listen to this. That's why I'm able to talk about it. Cause they don't listen to my podcast anyway. So what is it about the people who are closest to us that they aren't able to see us for who we are and what we've [00:32:00] achieved? Like it's so funny, like the way that I'm treated with like my new friends from clubhouse, for example, and when I have dinner with them, compared to my best friends is so much different.

So talk to us about that. And do you experience similar things?

Trent Shelton: [00:32:14] As such a deep question? And I can talk for hours. I feel like this is like why people come to me, to be honest with you, just knowing your circle and then your environment. I always say your environment is everything. And just to answer your question, I did a podcast over there.

It's not talked about like why your support system doesn't support you and just to touch on a few of those things to help people understand it. Number one, I think one of the main reasons that, especially when it's people that truly care about you, they don't understand what their support means to your journey.

And what I mean by that is that, and this is saying more about them. They don't feel like, oh, if I share the podcast, it's going to make that big of a difference. If I show up for you, it's just [00:33:00] me. So they don't understand what they're saying, port the effect that their support has on the person.

And we all, no, like even just, Hey, I shared your podcast or I listened to it or I did this, or I did even the smallest form of support. It means a lot when it comes from people that you truly love. Another reason is that, and this is probably the main one. Some people are too close to you to see your greatness. The things that we are familiar with, we become desensitized to.

So just think about the things that you have in your life. Like not people, but just things that are super valuable, but you're around it so much, right? That it becomes, it loses its power because you're used to it. And I relate that to people in your life. So the people that have been around you since high school, middle school, you're just Hala to them, right?

That's all you are to them. I'm just Trent. And I get that. And honestly, I want to be carried as that. I don't want you to put me on a [00:34:00] pedestal, but they're too close to you to see just how great that you are. And a lot of people don't believe greatness can be that close to them. That's why it's super convenient to go support a celebrity that you don't know.

Because for one, you don't see their imperfections. So somebody that's close to you, they see your imperfections. And we think that success, we think that as I call it a legendary Venus doesn't have imperfections. And so you might be the person. So for me, I might preach, Hey, be consistent. And it might be a person in my life that sees me be inconsistent for a day or two.

Not that I'm a hypocrite, it's just that it's real life. And so they might train ain't who he say he is, are XYZ and who they say they are. But when you see a celebrity, you just see in a highlight reel, right? You just see in the Instagram real the filter version that they're showing the world. So it's easier to go support them than it is to go support somebody that's around you.

But I want to say this too, as I wrap this up on this topic, cause I could talk for hours on [00:35:00] this. Don't let that be your excuse to not go be great. Their lack of support has nothing to do with your level of success. I know you want their support. I can guarantee that you don't need their support. Let me ask you this question with all the people who listen to your podcasts, what percentage of those people are probably strangers?

Hala Taha: [00:35:23] Like literally 100%, like only my mom and like my sister listened to my podcast.

Nobody else does it's so it's mind blowing when sometimes when I think about it or like random people that I knew in like middle school listened to my show like just like people who are now strangers.

Trent Shelton: [00:35:40] And you just got the cover of a podcast.

Hala Taha: [00:35:43] January, 2021. I was covered podcasts magazine.

I'm one of the top female podcasters in the world. And the people closest to me don't even, they don't even acknowledge it. Like we'll be out and people might recognize me or say oh, I've heard of your show. And my friends [00:36:00] don't like bat an eyelash. You know what I mean? They don't like, you'd think that they would brag about it or be proud of it that their friend has accomplished that.

But it's not like to your points, they can't see it. Or maybe they feel a little bit jealous or inadequate, or they don't want to acknowledge it because they don't want me to get the attention when we're out and make it all about me. Cause I have so much, I could be like, oh, I just interviewed Matthew McConaughey.

Like I have lots to talk about, so I don't know. I think it is what it is to your point. It doesn't make my success less than it is, but it does make me feel lonely. Is it lonely being an influencer for you in that regard where I feel like sometimes it's only, I can only relate with other people who are doing similar things because I feel like other people don't necessarily relate to what I'm going through and the closest people to me don't want to acknowledge what's going on.

Do you feel lonely as an influencer?

Trent Shelton: [00:36:52] I've had my seasons for sure of that, where I felt like, especially in my growth years, I'm still growing for sure, but especially, [00:37:00] I think at the beginning and towards the, even the middle of it and there's times to seasons, but I felt that because a lot of people didn't understand it.

And when you elevate your life right to another level and you move forward towards something else, you have to realize everybody that was in your previous level or in your previous season is not going to go with you. So now you have to find a new tribe, in a different environment. And so I've been blessed in this space to be able to have, different pockets of people in my life.

So I have my friends that I don't expect them to be in a personal development nor do I hold them to that. And we just are friends just friends on just the level of like life. But then I have my people that are in, to read and books and podcast and growth, and I can get around them and be inspired and held accountable.

I have that pocket of people and it took a little bit longer to find those that pocket, that environment, but it was necessary. And I just feel like when you walk into that space, you attract, you become a magnet and you [00:38:00] attract certain mindsets that you need, but yeah, you're going to go through periods of loneliness, but I feel like those are necessary because during those periods of loneliness, you get to learn how to be

self-reliant. You get to learn how to be emotionally intelligent. You get to learn how to know yourself as you move forward and progress your life.

Hala Taha: [00:38:17] Yeah, 100%. I totally agree. So speaking on relationships, how can you tell when it's time to burn a bridge? I know you have a whole chapter in your book, I think straight up called burning bridges.

So how do we know when it's time to burn a bridge and walk away from a relationship?

Trent Shelton: [00:38:33] I do believe burning bridges is necessary. And the reason I say that is because there's certain bridges, your life can not afford to go back to, and I'll leave it with that. If you know that there's no change, I always say never quit on progression.

If there's no change, it hasn't been changed. This is not serving you or you're not serving them. Then it's time for you to burn that bridge because when you keep bridges in your life, that needs to be burned. What happens is [00:39:00] it drains you? What happens is it brings stress to your life.

I like to call it stress sickness to your life, and it prevents you from building the bridges that need to be built. And so if you add this, this is this bridge, whereas this bridge leading me to, that's the question, where is this bridge leading me to? Cause bridges are leading you somewhere.

Either you to a greater you, a better you or to a lesser you or to a destructive version of yourself. If you can, a hundred percent say is not leading me towards the greatest version of myself or a better progressive version of myself, then it might be time to limit the interactions with that person or people or what that circle because it's not going to lead you to where you want to go in your life.

So I think that's the question you ask yourself, where is this bridge leading me to? And whatever answer you come up with, that's your truth.

Hala Taha: [00:39:46] And I think it doesn't have to be dramatic. I don't think it has to be some dramatic thing where you break up with someone or you even let them know that you're distancing yourself.

You just start to distance yourself from people who don't make you fit. [00:40:00] My gauge is if I hang out with you and I feel like leaving, or I feel like after words, I feel worse than I did before I hung out with you, then I feel like it's maybe it's time to not spend as much time with you because you're hurting my mental health.

And I don't feel positive when I'm around you.

Trent Shelton: [00:40:17] Absolutely. There you go. I think it's that simple. We just gotta be able to listen to those truths and then make decisions moving forward and accordingly.

Hala Taha: [00:40:25] So me and you both lost a parent last year, you lost your mother. I lost my father last may. I think you lost your mother last March.

And so you're no stranger to pain, there's a lot of pain, I'm sure when you left the NFL and those dreams come true. And I'm sure there was a lot of pain when you lost your mother. So how did you get over all these different, really painful moments in your life? Did you come up with some sort of like a recipe to get over pain?

And can you share that with us?

Trent Shelton: [00:40:55] Yeah. And you gained an angel, that's what I want to tell you. I'm very, I don't use [00:41:00] the word, sorry for your loss, because I felt like you didn't lose anything you gain. And so I want to tell you that. And so I'm still in that season, I lost my mom a few months ago, so I'm still in that I'm still in that season of grieving and moving through, but I don't think it's about getting over.

I don't think it's about getting over the situation. I don't want to get over of my mom no longer being here, but I think it's about getting through it. And as you get through it, being able to change your perspective. And so for me, what's helped me in these last few weeks. These last few months is changing my perspective and making my perspective, my power and not my prison.

And the first thing that happened when I've lost people and went through these emotional things. So two months ago, you might've known this, but I lost my mom two days after that my daughter went to ICU. Then a few weeks after that, I lost my grandmother. So that all happened in the month of March.

And it was tough. And people have always asked, like, how did you get through it? And I said I'm still getting through it, but what's helped me is [00:42:00] focusing on appreciation. And I know that word is used a lot, but depression is often the absence of appreciation. So the first thing that happened with my mom, like we all do, we go into the mode of regret.

Damn. I wish I would have. I wish I would've did this. I wish I would've. I wish I wish. And that keeps you in a place where you'll never heal from. It's a prison regret is poison to the soul. And so every time I have those, I wish moments. I immediately disrupt that and say, man, I'm glad I got to.

I'm glad I got to do this with my mom. I'm glad I got, she got to see the book. I'm glad she, and it helps me focus on the beautiful moments with the people that I've lost. And what happens is they become more alive in your life than they've ever been. You brought up my friend and committed suicide. I wouldn't be talking to you right now if that wouldn't have happened, because he was the reason why I started what I did.

And so I would tell [00:43:00] everybody that's lost a loved one, or that's going through a season of grief, honor that person. And the way you honor that person is how you lived your life. They planted seeds, whether those seeds were seeds of limitation, whatever it may be. I don't know the relationship you might have with your parents or your friends or your grandparents, but they ran their race.

And you have the Baton of   your hand, and you don't want, I always think about my mom. Like she would be highly disappointed in me. I can hear a voice saying Trent, you stop running your race because I'm no longer here. I've been preparing you for this moment. Since you've been born I've prepared   you for this by every seed that I planted in your life.

Now it's time for you to go run your race and you go on a hell of a race to make sure that when you give the Baton off to your kids, they have a lead on life, like I gave you. And so I'm always thinking about that and that's helped me be able to get through these moments. Do I still have hard moments?

Absolutely. Every day is beautiful, but I still have bad days every day. Bad moments every day, but I put that [00:44:00] moment in a certain context to be able to help me, get through.

Hala Taha: [00:44:03] And I'm sure your mom is like beyond proud of you. You are so successful, so impressive, so inspirational. You help thousands and thousands of people every day live better lives.

So you should be really proud of. I'm really proud of you and I'm sure your mom is. So I'm going to switch topics here and hopefully I'm able to phrase this correctly. It has to do with the news and everything going on in the world. So I'm Palestinian and there's lots going on in terms of human rights and everything going on overseas and Israel and everything like that.

And as somebody who has a platform, it's been very difficult for me because I feel so torn because I know what's right. There's occupation and apartheid going on in Israel and all these crazy things. But I also have sponsors like Olay and Talkspace and all these sponsors that I represent. So I feel like [00:45:00] I am unable to speak my truth all the time.

And so I know that, you're a black man who has a lot of influence, a ton of influence, like if not the most popular black man in the personal development space right now. And you're on stages with lots of white men all the time. And I always see you as like the one black guy with dreads on a stage with a bunch of white guys.

And it must be a lot of pressure because I know that, you have a huge platform and that you need to help just in general, this movement of people having equal rights, no matter what race they are, black, Arabic, whatever it is. And so I'm sure that you can relate. When all of this was happening with black lives matter and everything like that.

Did you feel any sort of pressure, like you felt like you didn't know what you could say or what you can do, and I just say as little or [00:46:00] as much as you want, but I think that this is an important conversation because I think that there's a lot of people who have a platform and in general just don't know what to do because they feel like their hands are always tied in terms of how open they can be, about what they truly feel and how they want to move the world in the direction that they want to move the world.

Trent Shelton: [00:46:20] I respect that and I appreciate you bringing it up. So I'm gonna try to not bounce to bounce around so much. But the first thing for me is that I gotta be true to who I am. And I don't want that to be an excuse for anybody not to, just I'm just true to who I am. And don't say anything, but you have to be true to who you are as a person.

And one thing about me and this might not be true for everybody, but I don't allow outside pressure, especially from the internet to make me speak up on some things that either one I'm not ready to speak on either two, I don't understand. I have lack of [00:47:00] knowledge of art just to speak on things that I don't even care about.

And not saying that I don't care about important issues in the world, but even like doing the president thing and stuff like that, like Trent, what's your what's my stance. And always tell people this, my stance is how I live my life. So when you look at my life and you see what I'm around, that I have friends of different races.

That my, my wife is Filipino. That I uplift women and girls and give them the platforms that they may need to be able to for if it's gender equality. So many things man, that I'm around that you see my life and what it represents. And so I tell people, yeah, I can go on here on it.

I can make an Instagram post and say something and then sit back and kick my feet up, but not do nothing because there's a lot of social media help, but it's not a lot of real world help. And so I always tell the influencer is so when the black lives matter, George 40 last year, I told people, a lot of people caught my phone.

A lot of white influences called my phone or hit me up was like, Trent, what do I say? [00:48:00] What do I do? I said, listen, if you're going to take a stance on it, take a stance, but don't just take that stance because it's trending right now. Don't take that stance because people are putting pressure on you to talk about something that you don't even understand or even care about.

Just be true to you and who you are. So if you're going to take that stance, understand what comes with it and it's not about online. So I told them, I say, you know what? Instead of just posting online, go to an inner city and go give back that way, go do something to where you're actually making a difference.

And I believe conversation is necessary. I believe I'm not saying, you shouldn't post anything. I believe dialogue and conversation is necessary, but I think what's more important is how you live your life and the reflection of that. And so I told my friends you worry about people calling you racist, but your light shows that you're not.

And what you stand for, what you believe in your track record shows who you are and what you do and how you live your life. So I'm big on that. And and I know that's not like the popular thing to say to people cause I get it [00:49:00] all the time. Man, I'm not going to allow anybody to make that put pressure on me to make me speak up on some things.

That is just words, come down and see how I live and what I do on everyday basis. And then you'll see what I truly believe in and what I stand for. And it's not a trend, I don't like the whole, I'm going to care about this because everybody on social media is caring about it. And then when it's not popular, no more, I'm going to go onto the next trend.

I'm just not with that. I'm wild. If it's your life and who you are, stand on that, stand on. What you believe in speak about it. I made a spoken word called divided states of America. And have you ever saw it? I got so much flack for that, but it was all out loud. So it was about just that, like how we're divided and literally the message was this love trumps are we all good disagree?

And one of my quotes from there was like the problem that we have in this country and just in general is that we listened to disagree. We listened just to reply. We don't listen to understand. And it was just about that. Everybody's gonna be [00:50:00] different everybody's perspective is different.

If I was raised somewhere where, in a certain environment, I would believe that because that's what I'm a product of. And you can change that. But I always respect people cause I'm like, okay, this is what they were brought up in. This is what they were around. This is what their parents raised them on.

Let me try to understand this person. So then I can maybe help this person, but we live in a world where nobody wants to understand. Everybody just wants to prove themselves. And we still get it wrong. So that's what that was about. And people still didn't like it, but I didn't care because I knew the message was out of love and it wasn't to separate.

It was to say, let's have a conversation and understand we're all different human beings.

Hala Taha: [00:50:38] Yeah. So that's helpful. So basically you're saying like you, no matter what the trend is, you do, you kind of show who you are through your actions and through what you do every day. And not just what's said on social media that you sharing your story or repost or whatever, or your black or blue [00:51:00] squares whatever squares you decide to put up that day.

Trent Shelton: [00:51:02] Yeah. And listen, if that's what I'm saying, if that's your, if you feel convicted to do it. So every now and then I might speak up on some stuff cause I'm convicted to do it, but I am not doing it because I'm pressured by somebody in my inbox saying, oh, you don't care about this because you didn't speak on it.

Now I'm going to speak on some I don't know about, or I don't even, I'm not convicted to speak on. And now you're speaking out of pocket, so that's my message to everybody. If you're convicted to do it.

Hala Taha: [00:51:28] And I think your point about educating yourself as key, like before you speak on any topic, educate yourself, listen, read, have these conversations with other people to your point, educate yourself super important.

Okay. So the last question I ask all my guests, and this is your opportunity to give us a piece of advice that you haven't said yet on the podcast is what is your secret to profiting in life?

Trent Shelton: [00:51:54] I got to go with understanding what truly matters to you. Who matters and what [00:52:00] matters in saying that is a branch off of the tree of fulfillment.

Fulfillment is everything. When you do the things that truly fulfill you, then you will have an abundance of life holistically. And so focus on that. Don't focus on the things that bring you notoriety, bring you success, bring you whatever. And my definition of success is fulfillment. And so if you can say, man, this is truly fulfilling me.

Even if it's unpopular, even if it's not the trend, even if you don't get any recognition, even if you don't get followers from it, you can live a life of fulfillment. That's a great life because that life equals a life of peace. And I think pieces where we all seek for in different forms, as we try to navigate this world.

Hala Taha: [00:52:46] What does fulfillment feel like?

How does, what does that feel like to you?

Trent Shelton: [00:52:50] So fulfillment feels to me that nothing is missing, that nothing is missing and I'm whole, and I'm at peace. [00:53:00] And I'm, I feel with anxiety because I know what everything is going to be all right. And I know if I left this world today, I wouldn't have any regrets because I live such a fulfilled life.

And I did the things that I thought I was called to do. And I lived the life that I felt like I was called to live. That's what it means to me. My mother taught me when you have purpose. When you have peace and when you have presence, when you're present, live in presence, always be in the moment, put down your cell phone and look what's in front of your face, live in purpose.

Now that calling in your life live in peace, whether that's nature, whether that's disconnecting, whether that's meditation, prayer, when you have those three PS, you have fulfillment. And so often do that. Check in with myself every week with those three peace. How was my peace this week that I live in presence this week with my family and those that I love that I live in purpose this week.

If I know if I can say, yeah, I did. I know I'm moving to that fulfillment that I see.

Hala Taha: [00:53:58] I love that the three P 's.  Thank you so [00:54:00] much. And where can our listeners go to learn more about you and everything that you do?

Trent Shelton: [00:54:04] Absolutely. Just add Trent Shelton, any social media site. Have a podcast called Straight Up and trentshelton.com.

Hala Taha: [00:54:12] Thank you so much, Trent. This is an awesome conversation. Thank you so much.

Trent Shelton: [00:54:15] Thank you. I appreciate you.

Hala Taha: [00:54:17] Thanks for listening to Young And Profiting podcast. If you haven't yet, make sure you subscribe to this podcast. So you always know when we drop a new episode, I hope you enjoyed this conversation with Trent.

I certainly did. And the biggest learning for me today is that it's okay to pivot and sometimes pivoting and letting go of an old dream is the best possible thing that you could do for yourself. Let's take Trent for example, he grew up thinking he was going to be a successful football player. He spent his whole young adult life training and spending time to become the best football player he could possibly be.

It's what everybody knew him for. It's what all his friends and family were most proud of him for. It was his identity, but his dream wasn't panning out [00:55:00] in the NFL. And that must have been tough, but it wasn't until he let go of that dream. And he was open to new opportunities that he actually became a true success.

When his friend offered him that speaking engagement at a church, he didn't just pass it by. And didn't just say he was too scared to give it a try. He went for it. He went on that stage. He spoke in front of 5,000 people and he gave it a try and it sparked a new passion for him. And he realized that he was meant to help inspire others.

And then he started a YouTube channel and he had no experience creating videos or creating content, but he just went for it. He learned along the way, he took a chance. And then now fast forward a few years later, he's got 50 million people across all his social channels. He's one of the most sought after speakers in the world.

And it's all because he was open to new opportunities and he decided to take a chance and he was willing to pivot and believed in himself enough to pivot. So when it comes to dreams, letting go can sometimes feel like giving [00:56:00] up. But I want you guys to understand that giving up is not abandoning yourself.

It's honoring yourself. And I think that one of the best talents that anybody can have is knowing when they should trade in an old goal for a new one, and then not treating that goal that didn't pan out as a failure, but rather looking back and appreciating what you learned during that experience and extracting what you can from that

experienced that didn't work out to then use again later in the future. So Trent is using stuff that he learned in the sports world and NFL to help him as a speaker. It's not directly related, but certainly, his work ethic, his dedication, all that kind of stuff now helps him later in life. So I want you to walk away from this episode, realizing that sometimes you need to let go of something good to get something better.

And at the same time, your failures are often a blessing in disguise and you have to be willing to take action. You have to be open to the opportunities that surround you. That's also a big part of [00:57:00] it. Nothing is going to fall in your lap. And if you liked this interview, I want you guys to go check out my throwback interview.

Number 45 with Jonas Koffler, he's the author of Hustle: The Power to Charge your Life. Here's a sneak peek of that episode.

Jonas Koffler: [00:57:13] The heart should be one of the huge pieces that guides us or moves us forward. If you think about what really drives you and motivates you deep down. I think people, everyone wants a sense of validation or recognition or respect.

Those things are vitally important dignity and the piece about the heart theme is very simply packed up in the first unseen law of hustle, which is do something that moves you, right? So this idea of movement, energy, physical manifestation, that only comes from the heart pumps our blood through our body and oxygen allows us to do the things that we need to do on a daily basis.

But so many of us are out of touch with that and frustrated. And so I think the thing is you [00:58:00] start at the center, which is the heart and the heart of life. And the heart of the experience is to do something that charges your life with a sense of energy and enthusiasm. And for us as entrepreneurs, this idea that we can actually change the world right in our own small way.

And that all is baked into this idea of doing something that moves you. So for those who are feeling stuck, tap back into the heart, get out of your comfort zone and start doing something that moves you and maybe just play some small bets on yourself.

Hala Taha: [00:58:33] Again, if you want to tap back into your own heart and your own purpose, I encourage you to check out number 45, hustle your way to success with Jonas Koffler.

And if you haven't subscribed to Young And Profiting podcast yet, what are you waiting for? Make sure you do that. So you can be alerted every time we drop a new episode and we love getting your apple podcast reviews. Reviews are the best way to thank us here on Young and Profiting  podcasts, and they act as social proof and they largely impact our [00:59:00] podcast ranking.

So if you haven't left us an apple podcast review, please make sure you do and if you don't have access to apple, you can drop us a review on Podbean, Castbox, Podcast Republic, wherever you listen to the show and you can drop a review or comment. Either one works, we'd love to have your feedback. So as always, I'm going to read a recent review.

This one goes out to Molly. She says resources and tools for everyone. I stumbled on this podcast from listening in a clubhouse talk, Hala was interviewing Dr. Jack Schaeffer, who is a human behavior expert. And it was a very interesting topic because you can apply these tips to personal and work life. I love the way Hala will reiterate the answer that the guest says so we can understand in layman's terms, I'm still going back to all of her old episodes and listening to them.

So far I'm really pleased with everything. And she's amazing on clubhouse as well. Thank you so much, Molly. I'm so happy you enjoyed my live episode with Dr. Jack Schaeffer, that one's called detecting the truth. And I put it out a few weeks ago, Dr. Jack, Schaeffer  the only guest on YAP, which has come [01:00:00] three times.

So he's been on the show three times that goes to show how much I love him. So I highly recommend that episode. Everything that guy says is gold. So again, That's detecting the truth with Dr. Jack Schaeffer. It was a YAP live episode. I put out a few weeks ago. I highly recommend it. It was an awesome episode.

We got really great feedback like this from a lot of different listeners. If you guys want to be featured like Molly, please remember to subscribe to YAP and give us a five-star review on Apple, Castbox, Podbean, Overcast. Wherever you listen to the show reviews are really important guys. It's why I stress it and make sure you tag us on social media.

Share the show on social media, share it with your friends, your family. Make sure you spread the word about Young And Profiting podcasts if you find value in the show. And of course I'm on clubhouse, I'm in there almost every day hosting rooms. Big thanks to the YAP team as always. This is Hala signing off.